Some days I barely get ahold of; other days I'm on top of things from the get-go. Then there's the day I end up at the Skyline Bar & Grill (1600 Lamar, 713-739-8000), running from security in a drunken disco haze. Earlier tonight, my trusty drinking partner Sanchez and I were bar-hopping around the Heights when another friend, Craig, called up and told us about this "massive party" that we "have to come to" downtown at the Hilton. He said the Village People were playing and that we needed to get our collective asses down there fast if we wanted to catch the free bar. I told him we'd be there in 15 minutes. Now that we're here, Sanchez and I are downing something like three drinks per minute and moving onto the dance floor, where hundreds of old rich people are attempting to dance to the Village People in hilarious '70s costumes. Undeterred by his lack of leisure suit, Sanchez begins hitting on every desperate housewife who comes within a ten-foot radius as I shuttle refills on our free drinks back and forth from the bar. After about 30 minutes of pillaging, a group of men in non-leisure suits approaches and pulls me aside. "Sir, are you supposed to be here?" one of them says with a stern face. "Of course!" I say, looking around for Craig to vouch for us. But Craig is long gone. "This is a $500-a-plate charity fund-raiser, sir. I assume you have your ticket." I ponder where I might have misplaced my ticket as I back away, grab Sanchez and scramble toward the first elevator I see. We eventually make our way to the Skyline Bar on the 24th floor, pondering our next move. "I think this undeniably confirms that we're going to hell." "Yep," Sanchez replies. "But first, we're going to have to find a way back in. I forgot my cell phone back at the free bar."

1 ounce Skyy vodka

1/2 ounce Smirnoff vanilla vodka

1 ounce banana liqueur

1 ounce Godiva white chocolate liqueur

1/2 ounce grenadine

Crushed ice

Combine Skyy vodka, vanilla vodka, banana liqueur and Godiva in shaker with crushed ice. Shake vigorously. Pour grenadine into martini glass. Gently strain shaker mixture on top of grenadine. Finished product should have a layer of red on bottom and a layer of white on top.