4

Smooth vs. Chunky: Not Peanut Butter, GUACAMOLE

^
Keep Houston Press Free
I Support
  • Local
  • Community
  • Journalism
  • logo

Support the independent voice of Houston and help keep the future of Houston Press free.

I realized the other day the real reason why I don't purchase packaged guacamole, ever. I virtually always just buy ripe avocados, tomatoes, limes and maybe some onions and mash them all together in my favorite red mixing bowl with a small chip from the time I accidentally dropped it on the kitchen floor following the unexpected appearance of an albino squirrel outside my window.

Cooking a particular type of food exclusively at home, by the way, is extremely unusual for me. In fact, I can't think of another food item that I never buy and always make by hand. My husband, on the other hand, would, if he had the opportunity, combine hydrogen and oxygen to render his own water.

Originally, my aversion to buying guacamole was motivated by financial reasons because it's usually about 150 percent cheaper to buy the ingredients yourself. But I know now that even if I won the lottery tomorrow, I would continue to boycott grocery store versions because I demand chunky guacamole. And that type of 'mole, my friends, H-E-B, Kroger, Randalls, etc. seem incapable of selling.

I have no objections to guacamole that is balanced and moderately blended. Certainly, you don't want your chip to emerge holding nothing but tomatoes and peppers with a vague glaze of avocado. An evenly mixed guacamole, however, does not have to come at the expense of chunks, which are integral to the superior guacamole experience. That overly creamed crap you so often find in the supermarket is not a robust dip nor a thick sauce, it's a mangy soup. If you dunk a Tostito into it, the chip emerges dripping. That is not good.

Premade/store-bought guacamole and chunky guacamole shouldn't in theory be mutually exclusive, but they sure seem to be. I can only then assume that I am in the minority with regards to my strong feelings regarding the necessity of chunks in guacamole. But readers, have you found a brand or store version of guacamole that actually resembles the rockier mixture I so passionately insist upon?

Keep the Houston Press Free... Since we started the Houston Press, it has been defined as the free, independent voice of Houston, and we would like to keep it that way. Offering our readers free access to incisive coverage of local news, food and culture. Producing stories on everything from political scandals to the hottest new bands, with gutsy reporting, stylish writing, and staffers who've won everything from the Society of Professional Journalists' Sigma Delta Chi feature-writing award to the Casey Medal for Meritorious Journalism. But with local journalism's existence under siege and advertising revenue setbacks having a larger impact, it is important now more than ever for us to rally support behind funding our local journalism. You can help by participating in our "I Support" membership program, allowing us to keep covering Houston with no paywalls.

We use cookies to collect and analyze information on site performance and usage, and to enhance and customize content and advertisements. By clicking 'X' or continuing to use the site, you agree to allow cookies to be placed. To find out more, visit our cookies policy and our privacy policy.

 

Join the Press community and help support independent local journalism in Houston.

 

Join the Press community and help support independent local journalism in Houston.