Sour Cherry Martini

My girlfriend and I arrive at The Office (310 Main, 713-222-9900) fairly early on a Saturday evening to meet up with Shaun and Sarah, two huge fans of hip-hop and R&B who wanted to check out this brand-new downtown club. We grab some cherry martinis and quickly finagle our way to the upstairs VIP lounge. There are rumors that the upstairs portion of the club, which looks like a cross between a law office and the library at the Disney World Haunted Mansion, has some otherworldly residents, so we’re hoping for a little VIP crunk ghost sighting. But after chilling for 30 minutes with no sign of the supernatural, we head back down to the main lounge to see what’s up with the living. And the scene is straight out of the classy hip-hop club manual: A group of bootylicious girls is dancing under the DJ booth, champagne buckets line the aisle, and white leather couches line the walls. The Office’s couches are so bedlike that they almost deserve their own sleep numbers. Taking advantage of the amenities, a couple sitting on the couch next to Shaun and Sarah begins to inch closer and closer together. As the DJ bumps out Gnarls Barkley, the pair keeps glancing at my friends with the guilty looks of two high schoolers trying to hook up on the family sofa after a school dance. Eventually, they throw caution to the wind and the girl begins to straddle the guy, which inspires everyone to quickly down their drinks and head elsewhere.

1 ounce Grey Goose vodka
1 ounce grenadine
1 ounce cherry juice
1 ounce sweet & sour mix
1 cherry

Combine vodka, grenadine, juice and sour mix into a shaker. Shake vigorously. Pour into a chilled martini glass, then drop in the cherry. Cross your fingers, pray that Mom is a heavy sleeper, and get to dry-humping.