Stirred and Shaken: Ernie's on Banks's Krappy Kicker

With apologies to those who had legitimately rough childhoods, the Houston Oilers damn near scarred me for life as a kid. I've actually blocked out some of the more traumatic episodes from my memory. Grim hospital visits, dead pets, divorce — all that stuff is clear, but I couldn't tell you how I reacted to their 1992-93 wild card loss to the Bills, because despite being nine years old, I don't remember. (Apparently it wasn't pretty.) That's why nowadays I try to take in big match-ups — like the Texans' Monday night game versus my former team, now the Tennessee Titans — surrounded by the calmative influences of friends and booze.

Ernie's on Banks (1010 Banks, 713-526-4566), with its clubhouse-like upstairs room, is perfect for these occasions. My group staked out a table by the balcony, and I tried to relax. After Texans kicker Kris Brown missed his first field goal, it was time for a shot. Bartender Jenna recommended something she and bar back Herman developed, a nameless variation on a Washington Apple. It wound me down a bit, and a second round helped me repress the familiar bad feelings after Brown missed yet another kick and cemented a close Houston loss. An irate Texans fan and a young dart player in a rugby shirt nearly got in a fight over Noam Chomsky's theory of transformational grammar, or possibly over whether quarterback Matt Schaub is a pussy. Either way, I wasn't the angriest person in the room, and the shot was nameless no longer.

3/4 ounce Ron Rio rum

3/4 ounce DeKuyper Sour Apple

Pucker liqueur

Splash DeKuyper Watermelon

Pucker liqueur

Splash Red Bull

Splash cranberry juice

Shake over ice and strain into a shot glass. Goes well with heartbreak.

We use cookies to collect and analyze information on site performance and usage, and to enhance and customize content and advertisements. By clicking 'X' or continuing to use the site, you agree to allow cookies to be placed. To find out more, visit our cookies policy and our privacy policy.


Join the Press community and help support independent local journalism in Houston.


Join the Press community and help support independent local journalism in Houston.