We all love to eat at Thanksgiving and, apparently, that includes some of the loudest and angriest sounding bands on the planet. If Mosh Potatoes: Recipes, Anecdotes and Mayhem from the Heavyweights of Heavy Metal is any indication, there are a bunch of culinary experts in the world of metal.
The book, which a good friend gave me last year for Christmas, includes recipes from a veritable who's who of artists in the genre, and proceeds from the sale of the book benefit Meals on Wheels. There are some really disgusting offerings like Lemmy's "Krakatoa Surprise," which is basically a mound of uncooked flour, chocolate syrup, refried beans, curry powder and strawberry syrup you smother in brandy and light on fire. He suggests you eat it while it is still burning. Jesus. But, most of the recipes sound downright tasty. Some of these guys and gals know what they are doing.
I decided to compile a complete Thanksgiving meal from the book and include some music video accompaniment. You can bang your head while you prepare dinner! The entire book and its recipes are is available online at Amazon.
Recipe: Black Bean and Corn Salsa Artist: Lita Ford
Lita Ford is one of the few bona fide babes of metal...or at least she was. She had a couple minor hits in the '80s when hair bands ruled the airwaves, including "Kiss Me Deadly" (see above) and "Close My Eyes Forever," a ballad duet with Ozzy Osbourne. Given the fact that we are in Texas, we figured her fiery black bean and corn salsa would make an appropriate starter. This is a simple, but quality recipe that would go great with tortilla chips. Light 'em up.
Recipe: Stuffed Mushrooms Artist: Dez (Devildriver)
I'll confess I had no clue who Devildriver was until I went to YouTube and dug up some of their music, but these are definitely guys that would make Beavis and Butt-Head bang their heads and shout, "YES!" Vocalist Dez offers up his stuffed mushroom recipe for the book and we seriously doubt with crumbled bacon and sausage that it would be a "Bitter Pill" to swallow.
Recipe:Best Damn Mac and Cheese in the Whole Damn Universe Artist: Steve "Buckshot" Seabury (Moth Eater)
The things you learn from the internet are just fascinating. Bassist "Buckshot" Seabury not only works out some serious doom metal with Moth Eater (yum!), but he owns High River Sauces and happens to be the author of Mosh Potatoes. His mac and cheese recipe sounds like it could contend for best in the universe, with over a pound of cheese including two kinds of cheddar, Swiss and smoked gouda. Damn!
Recipe: Kale 'Em All Artist: Liam Wilson (Dillinger Escape Plan)
Kale is one of those foods that seems to be popping up everywhere and Wilson, the bassist for New Jersey mathcore band Dillinger Escape Plan, is on the bandwagon. We already like the clever twist on the name as an ode to Metallica, but his simple kale recipe with dill, parsley, lime, salt, pepper and olive oil sounds killer (pardon the pun).
Recipe: Brussel Sprouts with Chouriço Sausage Artist: Barry Kerch (Shinedown)
Shinedown is one of those modern rock bands that end up on soundtracks to WWE and Madden Football (they've done both). People love to hate bands like that. But, what drummer Barry Kerch has done with Brussels sprouts should afford him forgiveness from the haters. In his recipe, he uses spicy Portuguese sausage in a skillet with boiled sprouts, onions and garlic. I want to see that on my plate this Thanksgiving.
Recipe: Mom's Stuffing Artist: Charlie Benante (Anthrax)
Anthrax has been around for a long time, and drummer Charlie Benante is one of only two original members. While this recipe might not be original, it sounds delicious. It's a pretty traditional recipe with a little Italian flair from crushed tomatoes and Parmigiano cheese. It also makes an enormous amount when you consider the eight onions, pound of ground turkey and one-and-a-half sticks of butter, which is plenty for leftovers -- arguably the best part of Thanksgiving.
Recipe: Roasted Turkey Dinner Artist: Felix Hanemann (Zebra)
For our turkey, we went with Zebra bassist Felix Hanemann, a favorite band of mine from the early '80s. His recipe also includes mashed potatoes and green beans if you so choose, but the New Orleans native definitely knows how to roast a turkey. His glaze includes honey and maple syrup -- yes -- and the recipe is a modest one, serving six, perfect for smaller gatherings or just the immediate family.
Recipe: Pecan Pie Artist: John Bundy (Naam)
Naam is apparently a psychedelic metal band from New York, but bassist John Bundy's recipe for the very traditional pecan pie isn't so much psychedelic as classic. All the ingredients you would expect to find in this super sweet holiday desert. Kudos, John!
Recipe: Fair Trade Vegan Avocado Fudge Artist: Mark "Barney" Greenway (Napalm Death)
It's tough to imagine an extreme metal musician like singer "Barney" Greenway of Napalm Death hanging out at the house with an apron on let alone discussing the value of fair trade vegan food, but people are nothing if not surprising. I have no idea if this is good -- sounds a little terrifying -- but vegans need something to eat at Thanksgiving too, especially when they sing like this guy. God knows his voice needs something soothing.
Keep the Houston Press Free... Since we started the Houston Press, it has been defined as the free, independent voice of Houston, and we would like to keep it that way. Offering our readers free access to incisive coverage of local news, food and culture. Producing stories on everything from political scandals to the hottest new bands, with gutsy reporting, stylish writing, and staffers who've won everything from the Society of Professional Journalists' Sigma Delta Chi feature-writing award to the Casey Medal for Meritorious Journalism. But with local journalism's existence under siege and advertising revenue setbacks having a larger impact, it is important now more than ever for us to rally support behind funding our local journalism. You can help by participating in our "I Support" membership program, allowing us to keep covering Houston with no paywalls.