Fast Times

The 10 Dumbest Fast Food-Related Crimes

Tuesday's news that a homeless woman had been arrested for "offering BJs" in exchange for Chicken McNuggets at an L.A.-area McDonald's sunk the whole fast food-crime genre to a new low. For years, there have been an increasing number of weird and silly fast food-related crimes, but this latest one was just sad.

"Khadijah Baseer, 31, was reportedly going car to car, asking drive-thru customers if they'd buy her some McNuggets in exchange for a blowjob," said the LA Weekly in its write-up of the incident.

"She used to go out there in the past asking for money, but this time..." said LAPD Lieutenant John Dilibert of Baseer's activities. The poor woman was starving. All that she had to offer the world was oral sex, and all that the world had to offer her at that moment was a 10-piece box of pre-fabbed chicken nuggets. Like I said, it's a genuinely sad story.

But there are plenty of fast food-related crimes that aren't as sad; crimes that are gleefully amusing in their stupidity and that don't make you weep for humanity quite as much. Here are our top 10.

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Katharine Shilcutt