7. Deep Fryer
Look, fat ass: Enough of the food we eat out in the world on a daily basis is deep-fried as it is. If you're going to the trouble to cook at home, then take that extra step and cook healthy food for your family. What in God's name would you possibly need to deep-fry at home? Unless you're experimenting with the next deep-fried food to hit state fairs and rodeos across the land, use a cast iron skillet with some oil in it if you need to fry something up. Besides, who wants a giant vat of used oil sitting on their countertop, slowly congealing and making your house smell like a McDonald's? No one.
6. Egg Cooker
For the love... If you can't boil eggs, then you have greater issues at hand and probably don't need to spend that $40 at Williams-Sonoma. Put that $40 to good use and take a cooking class. Leisure Learning, Green Plum, Central Market -- all viable options. Step away from the egg cooker.
5. Baby Food Maker
Our mother made baby food for us when we were young. That was many moons ago when ridiculous appliances like the Beaba didn't exist, which is proof in and of itself that you don't need this. Throw some pears and apples into a food processor -- bam! Instant baby food. This works with nearly every foodstuff that you can (and should) feed to infants, i.e., don't put Cheetos and Red Bull in there, Britney. Cheaper than buying a Beaba and even cheaper than buying jars of Gerber.
4. Electric Can Opener
You lazy son of a bitch. Seriously. Just because they make these doesn't mean you need to buy one. Aside from the general waste of electricity and counter space, do you know what a sissy punk you look like sticking your can of Campbell's tomato soup into one of these things? Unless you have arthritis or some other debilitating, degenerative condition that makes opening a can difficult for you, take five seconds of your time to open it yourself with a regular can opener.