The 5 Scariest Things About Denny's

In the recent kerfluffle regarding Denny's new sandwich, the Fried Cheese Melt, we seem to have forgotten that it's far from the only reason to be afraid of the 24-hour restaurant chain. Allow us to remind you.

1. The Grand Slamwich It's understandable that people were so horrified at the thought of a cheese sandwich that had been fried twice, they allowed this one to slip under the radar like it was no big deal. We think it might actually be worse for you than the Fried Cheese Melt, however, because it's basically an entire goddamn Grand Slam Breakfast between two slices of bread. And not just any bread: potato bread, the most calorically-dense type of bread you can have before you simply start using pancakes. The Grand Slamwich contains two scrambled eggs, sausage, bacon, ham, American cheese, and mayonnaise. That's right: sausage, bacon and ham. It's a side of chitlins away from containing an entire pig. And scrambled eggs, plus mayonnaise? Good God, man. How eggy is too eggy, Denny's? Not to worry, though: The Grand Slamwich also comes with a "maple spice" spread, so it turns out it's classy, after all.

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John Seaborn Gray