5. Popcorn: Like we just said, it pisses everyone in your office off when you microwave popcorn. Why? Two reasons: Number one, most people burn the popcorn. For whatever reason, microwaves seem hellbent on nearly incinerating a bag of Orville Redenbacher no matter how short an amount of time you cook it. 30 seconds? BAM. BURNT. And number two, on the rare occasions you don't burn the popcorn and stink up the whole place with an odor that clings to the walls like 1970s Holly Hobby wallpaper, another smell takes its place: the smell of FOOD WE CAN'T HAVE. Unlike other people who are quietly sitting at their desks, odorlessly munching on a bag of peanut M&Ms or a Special K bar (losers), you're letting everyone in a 50-yard range know that you're eating food they can't have. Delicious, buttery, crunchy, movie theater food. That's not for them. Jerk.
4. Curry: Maybe you don't live in an area with a high concentration of curry fans. But if you live in, say, the United Kingdom or Houston -- where we have lots of curry eaters -- you know the aroma of a freshly-microwaved bowl of Indian food. It's delicious...to the person eating it. To everyone else, the strong scent of the curry punches you in the face with a force that makes your eyes water and your nose run. Worse -- like the burnt popcorn smell -- the overwhelming aroma lingers for days, making your entire workplace smell like the line cook's clothes at Bombay Brasserie after pulling a double. (No offense to Bombay, of course, whose saag paneer we love).