3. Tuna Fish: Of all the sandwiches you could bring to the office, you have to bring the one that smells like a wharf? Do you realize that we can't escape that odor? That now the entire cubicle area smells like a fishing boat after a 30-day slog through the Gulf? That's not a pretty smell. Don't make us start bringing in other food-prepping-and-killing-area sandwiches to counteract the scent. Slaughterhouse sandwich? Pig sty sandwich? Barnyard sandwich? We'll figure out a way to make one... By the way, this goes for any fish. Do not bring fish into the office. Capiche?
2. Smelly Veggies: The biggest culprits here are asparagus, onions, cabbage and -- as we found out -- broccoli. It's most offensive when you're cooking/reheating them, of course. Asparagus, cabbage and broccoli smell like someone let a flatulent dog into the office and fed it a can of beans. And onions, well...they smell like onions. Raw, they make your eyes tear up until you can't see. And cooked, the greasy yet acrid aroma haunts you (and your work area) for the rest of the day. Stick to carrots, celery or otherwise inoffensive vegetables if you value your life.
1. Mexican Food: Our number one offender. No other cuisine captures as many strong and offensive aromas as Tex-Mex. Stinky onions? Check. Acrid salsa? Check. Greasy cheese and chips and chile con carne gravy? Check. Malodorous beans? Check. The inevitable gas that comes from eating all of the above ingredients? Let's just say your coworkers won't be thanking you for either the Taco Cabana platter you brought back to the office or the indelicate scent you left in the bathroom an hour later. If you need a Mexican food fix that badly, stick to table service. There's a reason that Eating Our Words burned all of our clothes after working in a Tex-Mex joint -- the showers from Silkwood won't take that stank away.
What are your number one office food offenders, readers?