Saturday was one of those drinking marathons that cause me to wake up the next day and ask myself questions like, "How old am I, again?," "Why is my wallet in the toilet?" and "How did I break my pants?" Anything worth doing is worth doing to irresponsible excess, right? My booze-fueled Bataan death march began with vodka and OJ at breakfast, beers over lunch and more cocktails in the afternoon. Then it got dark and everything got fuzzy. I have only mental postcards from anything after, oh, about 8:30 p.m. I lay most of the blame for my "rolling brownouts" on Björn, the bartender on duty at The Davenport (2117 Richmond, 713-520-1140) this particular afternoon. Through dogged effort and some mad-scientist experimentation, he came up with the Pistolera — a sour, spicy flavor riot that left a nice burn well after my last sip. After a few of those, my head was practically on fire. Better my head than my pants, I guess.
2 ounces Cruzan Pineapple Rum
1 ounce pineapple schnapps liqueur
1 ounce pineapple juice
½ lime wedge
Sliced fresh jalapeño pepper
Combine rum, schnapps and juice in a shaker with ice; shake and strain into martini glass; squeeze lime and pepper into glass; garnish with jalapeño slices. When things get blurry, don't rub your eyes.