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Is there really such a thing as a non-messy breakup?
Is there a breakup in which neither party turns to a tub of Duncan Hines frosting to muffle the yak-like sounds of their latest, mostly unprompted crying jag? Is there a breakup outside of Pennsylvania Dutch country that doesn't involve inappropriate amounts of liquor consumed in disgusting quantities and combinations?
If there is, I've yet to experience one.
I can, however, offer up the food critic's guide to post-breakup dining. A meal plan, as it were, for the rocky week ahead. Speaking of which, I'm off to buy some more rocky road ice cream and watch another season of Breaking Bad in my swimsuit. No, I'm not going swimming. Leave me alone.
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Keep the Houston Press Free... Since we started the Houston Press, it has been defined as the free, independent voice of Houston, and we would like to keep it that way. Offering our readers free access to incisive coverage of local news, food and culture. Producing stories on everything from political scandals to the hottest new bands, with gutsy reporting, stylish writing, and staffers who've won everything from the Society of Professional Journalists' Sigma Delta Chi feature-writing award to the Casey Medal for Meritorious Journalism. But with local journalism's existence under siege and advertising revenue setbacks having a larger impact, it is important now more than ever for us to rally support behind funding our local journalism. You can help by participating in our "I Support" membership program, allowing us to keep covering Houston with no paywalls.