This Week in Deliciousness

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Welcome back to the weekly roundup here at Eating Our Words, where the good Christmas cookies have all been eaten out of the assortment, and the remaining raisin-y duds are used as shuriken to scare squirrels away from the bird feeder.

2011 has frankly been for shit, and we're primed and ready to give it the boot. But first, wouldn't you like to know some fun facts about the fizzy wine you'll be forced to imbibe this New Year's Eve? Which reminds me: Triple A is once again doing their free "tow your drunk ass home" service this year. Take advantage of it if you even suspect you might need to. If I save even one life, I get to go on feeling smug aaaaall year. (Editor's Note: Smiley face emoticon deleted because ew.)

We returned to the Backstreet Cafe because why wouldn't we? Hmmm? Answer us that. We do like to try new things, though, as we finally got to take a first look at the much-anticipated Roost. That, coupled with this week's cafe review of Phillipe, is reminding us that we've got a lot of damn good restaurant options in Houston, new and not-so-new.

It's not all good news on the food front, though; the Gulf of Mexico is experiencing an influx of the invasive Black Tiger shrimp, which is taking over all the major shrimp territories because with a name like "Black Tiger" its kung fu obviously must be fantastic. We can only hope it and the snakehead somehow keep each other in check.

The Union Kitchen has one of those burgers that expects you to unhinge your jaw in order to eat it, which is obnoxious. Obviously you're going to have to pick it apart in order to eat it, in which case it is NO LONGER A BURGER but a SERIES OF BURGER FIXINS ON A TINY BREAD PLATE. It does look tasty, though, which it has in common with these five chocolate-peanut butter desserts from around town. I remember how impressed I was the first time I had Denny's Reeses Peanut Butter Cup Pie as a youth. Ahhh, times were so much simpler back when I was a total friggin' ignoramus.

Just in case his article last week left you wondering how Jeremy Parzen's Jewish Christmas went, you can find out here. Seems like everything went okay, except everybody had to watch a Woody Allen movie. Yes, I know, Woody is a very gifted writer of dialogue and very witty and insightful and zzzzzzzzzzzz. Throw in some helicopter chases, for Pete's sake.

As I mentioned earlier, it's time to sum up 2011 before we do our best to forget about it forever, and we've done exactly that. We've got the good, the bad, and the shamelessly self-promotional. Listen, we do good work here. Let us toot our own horns just a little bit, mmmkay? In return, we'll keep you abreast of stuff like the finer watering holes in your neighborhood. Because we like you, Houston. We don't say it enough, but we really do.

Finally, we leave you with places that will be open and serving delicious vittles on New Year's Eve and Day. Have fun and be safe; remember, you've got to stick around and mock the true believers when the world fails to end next December. It's gonna be great!

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