This Week in Deliciousness

Welcome back to the weekly roundup here at Eating Our Words, where we've just discovered the wonders of Biscoff Spread and now it's all over, as far as losing weight is concerned. And I thought Nutella was addictive, holy shit. It straight-up tastes like cookies, y'all. I'm dead. I'm so dead.

We started the week off right with a look at some grocery store sushi, which is an unfortunate necessity in Houston due to the lack of sushi restaurants on literally every corner of the city.

One of them fancy-ass lawyer types has become a winemaker, which proves that all you need to make wine is money, grapes, a little know-how and a lot of hard work. And not a soul.

On the opposite end of that spectrum: our food critic Katharine Shilcutt's exhaustive, heart-wrenching four-part chronicle of a day spent hitting food trucks with her friend Ryan, home on leave from the Air Force. Go read this amazing series right freaking now.

Alice Waters is engaging in the noble but decidedly uphill battle of getting people to not feed their children quite so much horrible crap. I mean, best of luck to Waters, but we're talking about a society whose children know who Ronald McDonald is before they can even talk. So... yeah.

Just in case you weren't aware that it was Rodeo season from the buttload of tourists and the sudden and constant rain: BARBECUE, BITCHES. And if that's not enough food porn, check out this look at El Gran Malo. A Bloody Mary infused with beef jerky and with chicharrones around the rim? Good God, yes. A million times yes. Yessier than the yessiest yes to have ever yessed. (The Press's editing software wants me to fix so many of these words, you guys.)

Want to put together a Bento box as impressive as the one that guy in Grandma's Boy had? Well then you should've gone to the competition at Rice Epicurean Market. They put the "epic" in "epicurean," as does this list of sci-fi dishes we'd like to try. What, no Pizza the Hut?

Parking problems are not simply the province of the inner loop: Pampa's on the west end has some, as well.

Here's a month's worth of ways to celebrate St. Patrick's Day, the one day out of the year when people pretend to like redheads, cops, and green booze.

This week, Sam admitted he likes ketchup on his hot dogs, and all I can see is GOOD SWEET GOD, MAN. IT'S ALMOST AS IF PEOPLE HAVE DIFFERENT TASTES AND PREFER DIFFERENT CONDIMENTS. FOR SHAAAAAAME. Totally the opposite of shameful is this cool home delivery service for farm-fresh food, new in Houston by way of Austin. It's still a fairly new business so give 'em your support and get those fresh veggies brought right to your door. And maybe use their seeds to plant your own garden. Hmmm... tandem! Not just a shitty discontinued ice cream confection.

Finally, a pair of notices: you will absolutely want this app on your phone if you plan on going to SXSW this year, and don't forget tickets for this year's Menu of Menus event, which has a new Iron Fork competition. That's right, go fork yourself! (Get it? I said "fork" instead of "fuck!") And have a nice weekend!

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John Seaborn Gray