Welcome back to the weekly roundup here at Eating Our Words, where procrastination is (note to self: think of some clever definition and insert it here later).
We started the week off with one of our favorite things: a recounting of time spent judging a chili cook-off. We don't know why chili cook-offs aren't yet featured in patriotic American montages around the 4th of July and Memorial Day, but they should be, by God.
Of course, things don't have to be strictly American to be awesome; just look at the joyous foodstravaganza that is the Turkic festival for proof of that, or even the elaborately layered goodness of the dahi puri. Do they make dessert dahi puri? Could we get one full of, say, cheesecake, caramel, and honey? Ah hell... I forgot to eat before sitting down to write this column again. Please bear with a very, very hungry man.
For you literary folks, there's a tasty new place named after the villain in Les Miserables, so that's good news for you guys. There's also a new place called Toyama, just in case there aren't already enough goddamned sushi restaurants in Houston.
We were amused by the merry hijinks of a thunderous Scotsman from Fort Worth, and paid it forward by coming to the defense of Rachael Ray. Although to be perfectly honest, we've always felt Rachael Ray needed no defense.
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It was also nice to see local purveyor of consistent mediocrity Katz's Deli get its ass handed to it yet again in another Food Fight. Katz's should thank whoever came up with the cheesecake shake for saving their otherwise thoroughly unremarkable establishment. Are we being too rough on Katz's? We don't think so. We hold to a higher standard here in Texas. Sometimes. Unless somebody's going to IHOP, which we unashamedly love. Lemon butter crepes, y'all. Come on now.
Don't cry for these ten discontinued fast food items; they may be gone, but the hardened plaque on many an arterial wall which they helped create still remains. Of course, even artisinal meats aren't terribly good for you, but on the other hand, if you throw them in the yard, they'll at least have the common decency to decompose.
Finally, you can start gearing up for Thanksgiving with a couple of our helpful infographics. Buckle up, folks. It's that time of year again. Yes, we know it's 85 freaking degrees outside, but just trust us, we're well into November right now.