This Week in Deliciousness

Welcome back to the weekly roundup here at Eating Our Words, where they can have our melted cheese dispenser guns when they pry them from our sticky dead hands. Big news this week was last Sunday's successful Cupcake Smackdown, in which many cupcakes were indeed smacked down and pastries in general were showed who's boss.

Greenway Barista got to explore the wonderland of meat that is Butcher's in New Orleans, and Robb Walsh ate some perfectly smashing pumpkin jam then washed it down with pork cracklins and beer for second breakfast, because in case you didn't know, Robb is a hobbit. We call him "Robbit."

After Greenway's two-part chat with Antoine Ware of Catalan, Becky Means spent $13 at Yum Yum Cha, and Robbit enjoyed some haggis with promises of haggis battles to come. Geri Maria Harris explained how to doctor up otherwise staid dishes with three simple ingredients, and the Shameless Chef cooked up some tasty Hawaiian sliders. Check the comments section if you want to see one of the few instances in recorded history of a cook getting chastised for not using Spam.

"Robb's balls!" is a common oath around the office.

There is such a thing as Heaven on wheels; it is a pie truck that delivers dreams to young and old alike. Jane Catherine Collins paired some wine with hot wings, an idea so grand TWiD broke a cell phone in our haste to call and ask her out. It's probably for the best; we don't like to think what would happen to out stomach and brain after an evening gorging on wine and wings. Maybe we'll take Geri out instead, but only if she brings some baked zebras, and only if she's returned that rented kid.

Well-liked horror-themed hot dog joint Ray's Franks dispelled rumors that it was closing, and assured us that the restaurant's doors will stay open, it has simply been sold to someone else and everything about it may soon be different. Huh. We suppose that fits the literal definition of "staying open"...

Beer. Oysters. You should have some of each, we're thinking. Maybe you could even whip up some kind of beer-oyster combo with some of the most useless kitchen gadgets of all time, although we wouldn't recommend it. You'd probably be better off using an old-fashioned wok, like Jane Catherine did when she cooked up some slightly tweaked Cajun recipes.

Thai Bistro and Sushi Raku are new on the Asian food scene, and there may be room for one more if Ziggy's closes due to lack of parking. When asked to comment on the wisdom of closing down a notoriously walk/bike-friendly Montrose-area location due to lack of parking, an anonymous city official said "A-durrrrr! Duhhhhhh. Me hungry."

Robb ate some delicious brains, and Jason Kerr devoured some gas station Greek food, and we're thinking there must be some way to combine these two things for some of the worst-sounding yet best-tasting food in Houston. Ruthie Johnson alerted us to the fact that salmon are now turning green, and green salmon can't be good for you... sorry, we've just been told "green" refers to environmental awareness. That salmon is probably okay, then.

Geri pitted ground beef against meatless veggie crumbles, and she was quite charitable to the plucky little vegetable matter, even though we all know full well fake meat is a godless bastard thing and should be illegal. Seriously, vegetarians, just eat vegetables that taste like vegetables, and leave the meaty deliciousness to those of us who don't mind our food seasoned with a little cruelty. Oh, quit giving us the shit-eye, for all you know, plants would scream if they could.

Katharine Shilcutt managed to avoid the sushi at Soma Sushi, Jane investigated some wine accouterments without the wine, and Robb went to a bagel shop and didn't get any bagels. We enjoy being contrarian, here at Eating Our Words. It pleases us.

Recipes TWiD would personally like to try included venison chili Frito pie, potstickers, and of course cream cheese icing. Damn. Seriously, if we could get a recipe for red velvet cake to go with that icing, that would be super.

"Liverwurst Pomegranate" used to be the password to get into Food Network headquarters, back when it was still a speakeasy hidden deep in the Rocky Mountains. That sounds right, although we suppose it's possible someone's been screwing with Wikipedia again.

After catching the happy hour scene at Mezzanine Lounge, we wrapped up the week by watching a local favorite hand out a totally one-sided ass-stomping in this week's Food Fight. It's nice to see local talent do so well.

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John Seaborn Gray