Welcome back to Eating Our Words' weekly round-up, where the beer flows like honey, and vice versa (our still is broken, and our bees are drunk). Speaking of honey, Robb Walsh had an interesting look at cucuzza blossom honey, which is the honey from a Sicilian squash used primarily by the Cosa Nostra. Sarah Rufka had a look at the late-night scene at Houston staple Dot's, where we were reminded yet again that gravy makes everything better. It does; we keep a small vial in our pocket for disinfecting minor cuts and bruises.
As part of the ongoing Texas Traveler series, Brittanie Shey stopped by the Southern Star brewery in Conroe, which was started by a couple of guys who met playing Frisbee golf, when one of their Frisbees accidentally knocked a leprechaun unconscious. A few wishes later, and they've got their own beer company and are married to twin Megan Foxes. In less ridiculous news, Katharine Shilcutt investigated the fancy-pants food at the Inn at Dos Brisas in the Hill Country, and was pleased by the only Relais and Chateaux eatery in Texas, "Relais and Chateaux" of course being French for "Pricey, but they age their own cheese."
Olivia Flores Alvarez put down $13 for some fine barbecue at Leon's World's Finest Bar-B-Que in Galveston, and heartily recommends the place. Lord, I should have eaten before writing this column; I'm actually starting to get genuinely sad. Wait, this'll cheer me up: I went around town to several fast-food joints and tried their various frozen desserts, rating them so you don't have to. Don't thank me; it's my duty.
J.C. Reid went to Darband Shish Kabob, one of the oldest Iranian restaurants in the city, and sampled some delicious lamb shank. Next, Katharine tried out Whole Foods' new line of reasonably priced lunches. Also: H-E-B has a new Texas-oriented magazine made out of recycled truck tires. No, seriously. We're relatively sure the magazines are not contaminated, unlike the beef.
After a brief detour from Robb "Faces of Beef" Walsh, in which he poses the question "Wanna Know Where Meat Comes From?" (the answer, of course, being "hell no"), we move on to a more innocuous article about vegans in hiding. Come on out, vegans! We've still got plenty of cows, we're not going to eat you yet!
Katharine got all wistful about Café Montrose, then revealed that famous Food Network douche Guy Fieri is coming to Houston to review some of our restaurants, and also to pick up some Texas beef lard for his hair. J.C. has invented something truly wonderful: the taco burger, which has every pothead in Houston abuzz with unlimited possibilities. Hey guys, turn that Tim & Eric Awesome Show DVD down for a second and listen to me. I got two words for ya: DONUT. PIZZA. Take one last bong rip and then get out there and make it happen.
The next big thing is evidently going to be tortas, which Details magazine is getting all excited over, as if we Houstonians haven't been scarfing them down for years. Katharine attended a BBQ Smackdown. We won't tell you who won, but they did so by getting their opponent in the dreaded Camel Clutch and forcing the submission. And John Nova Lomax made a salute to Frenchy's, Houston's finest fried chicken for 40 years, and a godsend to hungry, impoverished University of Houston students.
Your comments discussion topic this week: What was the best 4th of July cookout you ever went to, and why? Have a great holiday, and we'll see y'all next week.