This Week in Deliciousness

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Welcome back to the weekly roundup here at Eating Our Words, where we've borrowed six or seven fondue pots but have yet to return a single one. We started off the week with an adventure into the world of networking young professionals, which is exactly as nightmarish as you'd imagine, but at least the beer was cheap.

You've got to hand it to Katharine Shilcutt; she's doggedly continuing her investigation into gluten-free food despite having been ripped a new one in the comments section of last week's inaugural GF article. Reading about the difficulties of folks with celiac disease (even if they do have some tasty alternatives) has convinced TWiD to start internally stocking gluten. Well, you can never be too careful.

The Four the Park Fun Run happened last week, and there wasfree food provided at the finish line for all of you exhausted race-ists. That's what you guys prefer to be called, right?

Prepare for a ritzy, gussied-up experience if you go to the new Brennan's or new champagne bar Cha, but of course not if you happen to be eating at the Shameless Chef's house. Not to tell you your business, but if you're going to try raw durian, you should probably bring no less than a shotgun because that goddamn thing looks like a balled-up dinosaur. Don't be at all surprised if you poke it and it snaps open, all teeth and claws and furious, ancient rage.

General Tso was a well-respected general who became a great statesman. Tso was at least 50 percent responsible for quashing the Taiping Rebellion and went on to help negotiate an end to the French-Chinese War, basically refusing to die of old age until after a truce had been signed. It's somewhat disheartening, then, that his name is now synonymous with "shit no actual Asian would ever eat," but if you head out to 888, you can find at least one super-secret menu with more authentic dishes.

Wow, TWiD completely missed Earth Day this year. We thought that's what that "Earth Hour" thing was where we all shut off our lights and sat in the dark like animals. No? Huh. Well, we're gonna have to say you can't have Earth Day AND Earth Hour, folks. That's just too much Earth. But we'll tell you what you CAN have: a damn fine picnic, if you've a mind to. At least, you can until sometime later this month, when Houston starts feeling like it's about to crash into the sun.

Look, people: There is no goddamn parking left in Houston. None. Okay? So stop acting surprised when poor, unfortunate souls like Buffalo Market Grille have to relocate. Start building up. That's right: What could be cooler than an H-E-B with a Buffalo Market Grille on top of it? Only if they somehow put Big Star Bar on top of that. Okay, now we kind of want to start playing SimCity again.

You know what sounds nice? Retiring to a picturesque college-hippie-musician town and opening a gourmet cheese shop. We'd probably skip the bouzouki player, though. Then again, maybe we'll retire to the Galleria area, live in a way-too-expensive gated house, and just sit out on the balcony all day and gloat.

After an assumption-busting meal at Truluck's, you might head on over to Niko Niko's, but not for this bizarre burger-ish thing. As far as competitions go, the Teen Iron Chef score stands at Teens 1, Shrimp 0, and this week's Food Fight - Battle Falafel - was a classic rout.

Robb Walsh is closing in on the halfway mark in his list of Houston's 100 Best Dishes - he's now made it to #66. We had another countdown this week: the top ten kitchen essentials. If you live in an apartment complex near a construction site, go ahead and add "a reliable sidearm" to that list. You'll know what we mean when the construction-fleeing vermin show up. Don't ever get yourself into that situation, folks.

We end this week with some great news: The Spread is back! Woohoo! Didn't it used to be about strip clubs though? Or was that just TWiD's imagination?

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