This Week In Deliciousness

Welcome back to the weekly roundup at Eating Our Words, where we never roll less than three sous-chefs deep, y'all. Paul Knight started off the week by attending the Grand Opening of Lucky Strike Lanes and sampling their grub. We'll spare you the inevitable bowling puns. Get it? "Spare"? No, come back. That's it, we promise. All further bowling puns will be stricken from the record. (Get it?)

Olivia Flores Alvarez spent $13 at Kojak's Timberbrook Café, and we'd definitely crack a Kojak pun here, if we had ever once seen that show. J.C. Reid put on his khaki vest, took to the front lines of The Tavern's "War On Limp Dick Pizza," and discovered that the most flagrantly offensive member of the new Axis of Limp Dick Pizza Evil is... The Tavern. Some corn hash with shrimp is a lovely palate cleanser.

Don't forget to come out to DiverseWorks this Sunday (October 18) for an Adobo Hoedown that benefits typhoon victims. If you're wondering what "adobo" is, he was the big bald thug in Double Dragon. Need some quick pho for lunch in the downtown area? Robb Walsh recommends Pho Saigon.

Katharine Shilcutt enjoyed the food-slinging exhibitions at the Bayou City Arts Festival, and Robb, mourning the loss of Krispy Kreme, took to the streets on Donut Patrol, hitting Southern Maid Doughnuts, Bakery Donut and Shipley's. You know what that means: comments sections full of people bitching that Shipley's donuts are the very ambrosia of the gods themselves and how dare we at any time eat any other kind of donut.

Sarah Rufka took a first look at Eddie V's seafood, and Glenn Livet ordered a Poison Girl shot from somewhere besides Poison Girl, just to be difficult. Jay Francis braved Robb's den of swine flu contagion to bring him a care package, which gave Robb the energy to inform us that the recession is even hurting the sale of hot wings. We've said it before, and we'll say it again: There is no such thing as a "boneless wing." If it doesn't have bones in it, it is not a goddamn wing. We're sorry, but we're going to have to be sticklers on this. It's simply too important.

Robb jumped the gun a little on his review of the Branch Water Tavern, and J.C. made sure everybody knows that Stanton's City Bites is a formidable contender in Houston's ongoing burger wars. So many food-related wars going on in Houston... Bono was literally just here, and did nothing.

Robb was less than impressed by his sampling from Dragon Bowl, and Sarah sat down for a chat with Karen Racine of Absinthe Brasserie. Yes, you can get actual absinthe there.

J.C. chronicled the adventures of the guy from An American Werewolf In London when he listed the top 5 cheesiest soft drink commercials. What, no Michael J. Fox?

Fry a potato, and we'll love you forever. Katharine proved this yet again with Battle Frites, pitting the traditional Belgian French fries of Broken Spoke and Jeannine's Bistro against one another. Rookie Greenway Barista (relative of E. Ting and Glenn Livet?) took in the steak and eggs at Tan Ba Le, and Sarah enjoyed the Late Night Scene at Taqueria la Tapatia, one of our favorite Tex-Mex joints.

Finally, we wrap up our week with some good news: Katz Coffee Company has, at long last, dispatched a coffee ambulance to Houston. Slip 'em a Benjamin, and they might hook you up with a Red Bull IV, too. But you didn't hear that from us.

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John Seaborn Gray