Welcome back to the weekly roundup here at Eating Our Words, where we've already rounded up all of our Thanksgiving turkeys and are just waiting to hear from their families about the ransom.
We started the week off by welcoming back kombucha, which is wonderful. Nobody we know likes the distinctly tart fermented beverage, but we can't get enough of it. Someone needs to incorporate it into a cocktail.
It's that time of year when you're going to have to start Christmas shopping soon, so might we recommend some fudge? Or perhaps a $25 pizza? Make sure you include the receipt with the gift-wrapping! Yes, you can gift-wrap pizzas, just be sure to throw some tinfoil over it.
This is the story of a guy who talks like a coked-up AK-47 and how the spiteful, oppressive city bureaucracy kept persecuting him just because he never got any of the proper permits for the business he was operating. Who needs a permit when you've got cock-shaped muffins, though? Answer us THAT, city council members.
We caught up with the wine conference's Geri Druckman for a chat, and took a look at the Kraftsmen's Market. It's nice to get to see it before Kraft takes notice and makes them change their name. We revisited Jax, an old favorite, despite being named after one of the lamest Mortal Kombat characters of all time.
The City of Houston gave a big ol' "screw you" to Natachee's horse Lacy, because if you let a horse within 500 hectares of food preparation, the food automatically gets Super Horse AIDS. And then you have to call out the local shaman to banish the AIDS ghosts, and then the Salmonella demons want a piece of the action, and it just spirals into this whole unseemly mess. Thank you, City of Houston, for protecting us.
We enjoyed an Ethiopian breakfast which, to our surprise, did not consist of any dust or flies at all. We also had a first look at TQLA, which stands for "Top Quality Lunches, Assholes!" Not really, but y'all can have that for free, TQLA.
This week's "Some People Call This Item One Thing and Some People Call It Another and They All Want to Kill Each Other" post dealt with sweet potatoes, or "yams," as they are called in some circles (mainly Popeye and his family).
It's finally starting to get a little chilly, so now's a good time to start making sausage and sauerkraut again, although we wish they'd change "sauerkraut"'s name to something that doesn't sound quite so much like a racial slur. Come to think of it, Peking Duck sounds a little creepy, too. Who is it peeking at, and why? This paragraph was brought to you by ignorance and lame xenophobic humor. Sorry about that. We'll put away our Achmed the Blown-Up Terrorist ventriloquist dummy now.
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We're very, very happy that Mai's will be re-opening this spring, and if being happy that we'll be able to once again stop by for some spicy orange chicken after staying out too late drinking makes us "impartial," well then just call us the Russian Olympic ice skating judge, because we're thrilled about that shit. Almost as thrilled as we are about getting to see all our crazy old relatives soon at the Thanksgiving table.
Piola seems to have a good grasp on authentic Italian cuisine, and speaking of authentic, we'd like for y'all to give us some ideas on how to make chocolate milk that's even better than the kind you get in stores. Come on, it's gonna be cookie season soon, this is something we need to know.