This Week in Deliciousness

Welcome back to the weekly roundup here at Eating Our Words, where we're still trying to figure out a way to combine grits and dumplings. Don't tell us it can't be done; we've got a dream.

How did we start the week out? Why, by linking to every other food blog in Houston! It may seem counterproductive to link to the competition, but really, we all feed into one anothers' traffic, so it's less like a competition and more like a syndicate. And if you don't buy that: We're the best and we know it, and we ain't skeered o' you bastards.

We had another look at Pollo Bravo, which means "brave chicken," if we're not mistaken (note to people lacking a sense of humor: we're totally mistaken). We also staged a battle between Anthony Bourdain and Guy Fieri, and we won't say who won, but we will say that sometimes enthusiastic douchiness goes a long way.

This poor soul has moved out of the Houston area, and now pines for the fried chicken we sometimes take for granted. It's not just our outstanding Tex-Mex, ethnic food, and 25-minute drive to get anywhere that sets us apart, see?

Cafe Bello only has a few tweaks to make in order to straighten itself out, which is not a problem for Desir Bakery. Meanwhile, the intentional flash-in-the-pan Just August Project takes advantage of its lack of longevity to serve some stuff that only barely looks like food. We're told that means it's probably really good.

We counted down five unappetizing names for various foods, as well as the five questions you need to ask yourself before you head off for your post-alcohol-binge meal. We didn't include "Why the hell do we keep letting people buy us shots of tequila?" because that seems to be kind of personal. Evidently some people like tequila? Just one of those things we'll never see eye-to-eye with certain people on, similar to what Bjork would taste like. It seems obvious to us she'd taste like whale blubber and pixie hearts, but we'll agree to disagree.

Is it possible to get a good eclair in Houston? Sure, if you know where to go, just like it's possible to get - dear God - a 15-pound burger in Houston. Seems excessive, but then again, maybe we should wait to pass judgment until we haven't eaten in a couple of days. Then it may seem perfectly appropriate, like good cheese. CHEESE! Cheese. Fuckin' cheese: always appropriate. Unless you're lactose intolerant, which we here at TWiD disagree with, because we believe intolerance is wrong.

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John Seaborn Gray