Welcome back to the weekly roundup here at Eating Our Words, where this week we've had a difficult time convincing people that a) Goat Cheese & Dill Kettle Chips existed, and b) they were really, really good. Discontinued, alas. I guess your average potato chip consumer isn't quite ready to venture that far outside his comfort zone.
We started the week off right with a flight through a multi-faceted sampling of finely balled meat. Next, we moved into some truly inventive weirdness by infusing liquor with the help of this weird vegetarian gelatin called agar. Not thrilled about the vegetarian aspect of it, but we'll try anything if it can help improve the taste of booze. Especially this half a bottle of McCormick's we've been too traumatized to finish since we were first suckered into purchasing it while a sophomore at college.
We hope you managed to buy some lemonade on Lemonade Day before Health & Human Services showed up to kick over the many different stands with their jackboots. You may have also heard something about this "Cinco de Mayo" business. We hope you celebrated both of these holidays in the appropriate fashion.
Trader Joe's is coming to town, and fans of cheap wine are ecstatic, since you can't get cheaper wine without letting fruit rot inside a prison toilet tank for a month and a half. I guess they've got other stuff, too. Whatever.
After a shockingly graphic description of how to access your mother's still-beating heart, you can gently coax your appetite back with thoughts of grilled and skewered meat. Why does chopping meat up into tiny bits and jamming a stick through it make it taste so much better? And why am I asking you?
Using oxtail as stew, soup, or in this case pho meat is the best damn idea I've heard since drinking Dr Pepper through a Twizzler with both ends bitten off.
It's crawfish season, and we were kind enough to provide a how-to for you rookies out there. Or, if you're feeling rakish and jaunty, you could try it stuffed way up inside a chicken and sold at a gas station.
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There are a couple folks around town doing Bloody Marys and Micheladas very, very well, which is good to see. Pro tip to daytime drinking in the coming summer months: Bloody Marys when you're hung over, mimosas when you aren't.
Finally, the food trucks around town are getting to be ridiculous with how amazing they are. Case in point: Bernie's Burger Bus. Delicious, locally-made burgers, and not an annoying O'Doyle family member in sight. Billy Madison? No? Oh well. Have a great weekend!