Welcome back to the weekly roundup here at Eating Our Words, where every day we get closer and closer to perfecting our bacon-grease ice cream shell. It is only a matter of time.

You know it's going to be a good week when it starts off with an orgy of food. Don't be jealous; you can do the same, if you're planning on hitting up South By Southwest next week. And don't worry if you're an impatient herbivore; you can go up to the rodeo right this second and pig out on vegetarian food. Wait, what? That's Houston Live Stock Show & Rodeo, right? Okay, yeah, we just double checked. Huh. Wonders never cease. Ah, but do they carry vegetarian chili dogs?

After a quick look at some superior donutty freshness, we strapped on our fancy English powder wigs and went a-judgin' some barbecue sauces, all for your edification. Not only that, we provided some dirt-simple recipes to experiment with. Our current obsession is to try out the beer bread recipe with some Kronenbourg 1664 and a dash of honey. That's gonna be some crisp-ass bread, right there.

We love getting comments that say things like "I can't believe you left out ____! You should commit hara-kiri while on fire!" or simply "U DONT KNO SHIT." This is why we keep posting blog items like "The Top 10 Restaurants in the Heights." Fortunately, we also post items everyone can agree one, unless you're one of these space-alien freaks who doesn't like a good kolache or muffin.

We're constantly searching for new or improved uses for chocolate milk, and we found another one. We're also not shy about doling out the burger porn as often as we can; you should really know that by now, if you've been following us for longer than a week. Speaking of following, we're still on Twitter, you know! We're constantly tweeting cool stuff that crosses our field of vision, like this. Give us a follow and be the first one your block to know when the Shameless Chef finally opens his own horrible, horrible restaurant.

For this week's Food Fight, we tested some local pad see ew, which - ha ha! Okay, that has to be made up. Is that from Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy? That has Douglas Adams all over it. Menudo, too. Come on, people, TWiD was born in the morning, but it wasn't this morning.

Speaking of the morning, only one thing could drag TWiD out of bed before noon these days: that's right, the signature bell call of the crepe man. We're no Ricky Bobby; we have no problem admitting we love crepes. If we get enough delicious food carts in Houston, TWiD says we do a Food Cart Key Party, where all the vendors randomly exchange keys and take whichever cart they end up with out for a day. Why? We enjoy chaos, that's why.