Welcome back to the weekly roundup here at Eating Our Words, where we're down to only the one or two mystery pieces filled with truly nasty gunk in our traditional assortment of Valentine's Day chocolates.

We started the week off with a look at the new dessert menu at Perry's, which looks killer, especially to those of us who have damn near fetishized bread pudding. It's bread AND pudding. Oh man.

Houston finally got some love from New York's StarChefs.com, although they did seem puzzled and a little disheartened by our traffic situation. That makes 2.3 million of us.

So prominent health officials have decided that eggs are good for us again. Of course, whether or not eggs are good for us changes so much that eggs should have their own Facebook page. That way they can just update their status when inevitably all the nutritionists' opinions flip. Status: "Whoops! Turns out we'll kill you after all! Our bad!"

We listed the ten best coffee houses in town, and everyone agreed with us and no one complained. And if you believe that, we've got an expensive yet shitty buffet for you to try. Local coffee aside, if you must drink from the soulless chain stores, at least do so in one of these cool-ass locations.

If, on the other hand, you'd like some decent food, ERA is now open for business. Or you could try Philippe, where the service is almost too accommodating. Nice problem to have.

Berripop has a smoothie that's nice and tasty, as long as you don't leave it sitting for too long. Pepsi, meanwhile, has a new can for its diet drinks which they're marketing as "slim and sexy", and thank the Lord; when we're drinking the equivalent of malted battery acid, we can't have a squat, frumpy, sexless can bumming us out. Seriously, though, do we have to keep marketing inanimate objects as "sexy"? There is only one object which truly fits that description, and it is: the American muscle car. Search your feelings. You know it to be true.

We try to be brave, but these dishes have even our seasoned veteran palates hesitating to give them a shot. We wouldn't hesitate to tuck in to any of the bordering-on-food-porn offerings from Niko Niko's Market Square location, though. Or this fine Mexican breakfast.

We'll leave you this week with funny, adorable little Amy Sedaris goofing around with weird food like some kind of shameless chef or something. Have a great weekend!

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