Welcome back to the weekly round-up here at Eating Our Words, where we have a lovely bouquet and notes of walnut and oak in our boldly earthy flavor. Effervescent, but never insistent.
Robb Walsh started us off with some foreign mustard favorites. Sadly, French's did not make the list. They're French, right? No? Okay, we're totally lost. Luckily, Robb can help us find our way again with a reliable old standby, barbecue.
Some baristas got together at Coffee Groundz for some kind of throwdown, which we can only assume ended in an Anchorman-like melee-weapon rumble. It's all the caffeine. Makes 'em high-strung and murderous. Greenway Barista visited Star Snow Ice, which is either a Taiwanese restaurant or an upcoming animated Christmas special.
Robb is finally coming out of the closet, proudly proclaiming, "I'm here, I'm a food critic, get used to it!" We're proud of you, Robb. And we'll continue to march in support of your community until Congress finally allows food critics to legally marry the entrée of their choice. It will happen. Hold out to hope.
Jane Catherine Collins finally began investigating the happy hour scene here in Houston, and it's about time. We can't always make it to the late-night scene; not that we go to bed early, we just don't like to miss Craig Ferguson. Lauren McKechnie's lunch at Sandy McGee's looked good enough to eat. Uh... which we suppose is the point.
After some amazing-looking pumpkin and gingerbread pancakes, J.C. Reid stopped in to Baytown to enjoy some ceviche, which must be some kind of immortality elixir, because that is the only thing that could make us willingly set foot in Baytown.
Jane stopped in at Garson Persian Restaurant and had something called "barg", which is our new favorite word. It will be our drunken war cry. The Shameless Chef took out his trusty Bisquick and slapped together some sausage and cheese biscuits, much to the delight of all who appreciate combined foods.
Sarah Rufka took a look at the 5 best restaurants in Sugar Land, with one of the commenters actually remarking "I guess everyone is a critic". Well... only everyone who gets paid to eat various dishes at various places and then provide their opinions of the experience, really.
Robb enjoyed some fajita tacos (who wouldn't?), and Glenn Livet enjoyed some horny 45-year-old ladies at the Cougar Den. Actually, the "cougar" bit is a reference to the University of Houston, about which bar co-owner Jason invitingly remarks "This is our fucking town". Ha ha! Service with a fucking smile!
Jane knows how to make the perfect chicken stock, and Greenway investigated the conflicting facets of vegan chow joint / rock n roll venue Mango's. Lauren provided some nice places to picnic, and Robb mainlined some oysters. Aren't those illegal now?
Katharine had a hilarious look at one hell of a holiday gift, This Is Why You're Fat: Where Dreams Become Heart Attacks. And oh Lord, do those dishes ever look like the Grim Reaper himself dressed up in fried breading. You'd be safer drinking a blue-ringed octopus puree. But really, you should probably just go ahead and throw some quick chicken soup together when that show you hate comes on between those two shows you like.
Sarah chatted with David Mascari of Downing Street, and Robb sampled some more banh cuon nhan thit nuong, mainly because he knows how much we hate writing that. Only slightly better is yet another addition to the growing cadre of snooty frozen yogurt establishments, Berripop. Kids, frozen yogurt will never be better than ice cream. Never, ever. We're very sorry.
If you like this story, consider signing up for our email newsletters.
SHOW ME HOW
You have successfully signed up for your selected newsletter(s) - please keep an eye on your mailbox, we're movin' in!
Katharine had what may be our favorite post of all time: Tacos, Tits, and Ass, three of our favorite things and also the name of our newly-formed punk rock band. Robb thinks he may have found the ultimate oyster cracker, apparently unaware that "Ultimate Oyster Cracker" is what we've been calling him behind his back for some time now. Sarah checked out the late-night scene at Taco Cabana, which was exactly as come-as-you-are as you'd expect. Refreshing, to say the least, if you are as tired as we are of the walking haircuts at House of Pies.
Greenway declared Café Rabelais the victor in the ongoing mussels war which has torn the city apart. Then Robb kicked himself for only now investigating La Plaza, which opened up the same year the Beatles came to America. All you need is good Tex-Mex.
Lauren slammed a straight shot of flaxseed oil, and Robb sang the praises of flounder. Flat and delicious, good flounder is like a tasty welcome mat. Oh shit. We're definitely putting a patent on that idea. You can't have it.
Finally, Katharine closes out the week with a good old-fashioned tamale fight. What better way to celebrate the holidays? We don't get snow here in Houston, and besides, you'll smell way better afterward.