This Week in Deliciousness

Keep Houston Press Free
I Support
  • Local
  • Community
  • Journalism
  • logo

Support the independent voice of Houston and help keep the future of Houston Press free.

Welcome back to the weekly roundup here at Eating Our Words, where instead of eating those Valentine's conversation candy hearts, we're just gonna go ahead and wolf down a big ol' handful of chalk. Not as romantic, but significantly less sugar.

Laid up in the hospital? Going to visit someone who is? It's a well-known fact that hospital food is intentionally bad in order to drive away patients tempted to linger too long in their recoveries, so we found some places in the Medical Center area where the food is way better.

Always remember, kids: Fry cooks are a fragile, delicate breed whose sensitive feelings can be irreversibly damaged by even the slightest twinge of negativity in your tone. No wonder they tend to screw up even the simplest of requests, then; after our writer made the social faux pas of being very, very specific, we bet that poor cook was laid up in bed for days, sobbing and devouring tub after tub of Ben & Jerry's Crybaby Créme Creation™.

Waiters, on the other hand, just don't give a damn, so if you've got a ginormous entourage you need to feed, here's where you can go to make that happen. If, on the other hand, you've got what we like to call a "big one on deck," here's the five best restrooms in town. You blast a nice one out, there, chief. You lay one down for the ages.

We got a little nostalgic for a tasty soda named after one of America's most horrifying serial killers [citation needed] and then enjoyed a nice pudding sandwich. That's right, Pink Floyd: now you can eat your pudding and your meat all at once!

We sampled a couple of places for the first time this week, as our adventurous spirits so often allow us to do. We're also getting more and more into this Petrol Station place, which might just be the next Moon Tower, except not located in a desolate wasteland.

Finally, here are some suggestively named restaurants at which to get your Valentine's Day on, assuming you also have the sense of humor of a small child. I still can't believe someone opened up a place called "Big Red Cock." That gives me a great idea for what to call my inevitable food truck: "Hot, Throbbing, Purple Boner." See, we'll be serving fried fish with the bones in. And, uh, I guess we'll also have to dye them purple.

See you next week, and have an adequate Valentine's Day!

Follow Eating Our Words on Facebook and on Twitter @EatingOurWords

Keep the Houston Press Free... Since we started the Houston Press, it has been defined as the free, independent voice of Houston, and we would like to keep it that way. Offering our readers free access to incisive coverage of local news, food and culture. Producing stories on everything from political scandals to the hottest new bands, with gutsy reporting, stylish writing, and staffers who've won everything from the Society of Professional Journalists' Sigma Delta Chi feature-writing award to the Casey Medal for Meritorious Journalism. But with local journalism's existence under siege and advertising revenue setbacks having a larger impact, it is important now more than ever for us to rally support behind funding our local journalism. You can help by participating in our "I Support" membership program, allowing us to keep covering Houston with no paywalls.

We use cookies to collect and analyze information on site performance and usage, and to enhance and customize content and advertisements. By clicking 'X' or continuing to use the site, you agree to allow cookies to be placed. To find out more, visit our cookies policy and our privacy policy.


Join the Press community and help support independent local journalism in Houston.


Join the Press community and help support independent local journalism in Houston.