Oh, okay. When we heard "designer meat" we were afraid it was going to be some ridiculously sculpted abomination, but no, we'd totally eat that.
Oh, okay. When we heard "designer meat" we were afraid it was going to be some ridiculously sculpted abomination, but no, we'd totally eat that.

This Week in Deliciousness

Welcome back to the weekly roundup here at Eating Our Words, where we accidentally made a fancy dessert dish with our banana-scented sunscreen. We started the week out with some of the best places to eat around Galveston, so try one or two of them out after a long day of scrubbing oil off of seagulls. We also had the ten best places to eat in the Oak Forest area, and we'll be sure to try them, just as soon as we figure out where the hell that is.

The big story this week was our feature on local charcuteries, accompanied with plenty of photos of animal flesh gettin' chopped up for all you vegetarians out there, not to mention the instructions on how to do it at home and the video of the actual flesh-choppin' itself. You vegetarians are gonna feel pretty silly when North Korea turns us all into flesh-devouring zombies in a couple years. (We saw it in a dream.)

Feel like spending $50 on Mexican food? You're in luck! Or you could head to Stella Sola for some brunch, whichever you'd prefer, we're not here to make up your mind for you. Although we will stress the importance of getting an ice cream maker, because between the ungodly heat, the mosquitoes, and the oil spill in the Gulf, it's looking to be one hell of a depressing summer and you're going to need all the little victories you can scrape together.

Food from Jolie Vue Farms will helps you avoid those nasty chemicals; Hungry Man pork sandwiches, not so much.

Need a good place to go have some World Cup-appropriate dishes while watching Italy flop around on the football pitch like goddamn wounded fish? There are lots of restaurants around that represent all of the various competing countries, even the ones people forget are competitors, like Uruguay and South Africa. Once it's all over, why not grab some late-night breakfast tacos? We can't think of a reason. We understand "muffaletas" are good too, although we're still not sure if that's something you eat or those aliens from the third His Dark Materials novel.

Some sad news this week: the Thai Nazi died. That's a reference to a Seinfeld episode, by the way, not to him having hated Jews or anything.

We think a catchy name for these little beauts might be "popcorn squid". If that moniker doesn't make squid finally catch on with the masses, we give up. And don't say we never listen to you guys: we sampled El Rey's breakfast tacos, as instructed, and we're glad we did. You showed us! Bastards.

Don't forget to Dine Out for the Gulf today and tomorrow at any of these restaurants. We're going to take the proceeds and spend it all on hiring hitmen to go after every BP CEO there is. God, if only that were true.

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