This Week in Deliciousness: Someone Bring Me Some Food

Welcome back to the weekly roundup here at Eating...Our Words, where the chicken 'n' waffles phenomenon has us throwing waffles on everything. Steak 'n' waffles, barley soup 'n' waffles, asparagus 'n' waffles...We just don't care anymore.

We started the week off right with Haven's take on the Big Mac, and good God almighty. That thing is the size of a basketball. That's the kind of thing that feeds dozens at a hobbit's hundredth birthday party. Wow.

We had five tasty fruits to spice up your lemonade, and even though it's no longer National Lemonade Day, it's probably still legal to have some. You can use it to wash down the fancy rare blood-based dessert from Revival Market. There's a vampire joke in here somewhere but I am just so very, very sick of vampires.

In a crazy inversion of normalcy, a visit to Zelko's Bistro was slightly off and a visit to Taco Bell was far better than anyone could have guessed. Zuh? Look, they have Fox News on the TVs at the gym, and we already feel like we woke up in Bizarro Crazytown where wombs are heavily regulated but banks aren't, so stuff like this isn't helping.

To prove we're not just a bunch of Negative Nancies, we countered last week's look at hideous beer labels with a look at some of the best. Sure, taste is subjective, but we should all agree that the fewer beet-red vagrant leprechaun perverts on our beer labels, the better.

A lobster addiction got in the way of a planned sampling of Houston Restaurant Weeks menus, and yes, we're looking at getting Joanna some help. And no, we're no taking her to Red Lobster. Sure, you can eat enough subpar lobster there to never want it again, but then you walk out addicted to cheese biscuits. It's no good.

Improving on butter seems like it would just be asking for trouble, and it sort of is, in that you'll be eating way more butter than you probably should. Hey, maybe try the rum raisin butter 'n' flowers 'n' waffles. It's as delicious as a slow spiral into insanity can be!

Pinot Grigio is this writer's personal favorite wine because it's tart, not too sweet and always delicious cold, a necessary feature in the Texas summertime. Also good: Kool-Aid and vodka. It's possible I have different criteria for my beverages than most wine aficionados.

Trompo is amazing-looking, and we've got a photo spread to prove it. Brasserie 19's new specials look pretty good, too, and once again we're dealing with the pain of writing this article with nothing in the house to eat. Not even any chicken nuggets left. Shit.

You can get good Indian food at a place called India's Restaurant, it turns out, as they apparently make up in flavor what they lack in creativity. Hey, there's nothing wrong with being straightforward, and if you haven't yet participated in Duck Out For a Drink Day, just let your boss know you're doing so because you're an American and a patriot and you'll be damned if anyone tells you what to do. He'll find your bluntness refreshing for sure.

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