Welcome back to the weekly roundup here at Eating...Our Words, where we've been eating store-bought rainbow sherbet inside various Chik-Fil-A's all week, but so far no one has said anything. It could be because their choice of food-obtaining venue isn't indicative of folks' general political leanings, or it could be the 6'6" musclebound leather-daddy on a leash who guards us at all times. We really can't say for certain, but either way, so far Spike and I have enjoyed our sherbet in peace. Although it is difficult to eat when Sarah Palin is in the room, since obviously you're far too busy screaming obscenities to take the time to enjoy your meal.
We started the week off right with a look at Houston's first distillery, opening soon, but Lord, not soon enough.
There are five kitchen appliances no kitchen should be without, and we listed them. We also had a look at some foods that are almost as good from a can as they are fresh, and we would tentatively add milk to that list. Honestly, milk's pretty great with a little bit of an aluminum aftertaste to it, and it just seems to get so much colder somehow.
The desserts at Dolce Delights look pretty tasty, but the real grab this week was the twelfth in Saint Arnold Brewery's Divine Reserves line, so popular people are already scalping it on Craigslist. Say, did anyone else come out of this week thinking people in general are scummy fucks? Was it just me? It's made retiring to a mountain cabin with only dogs to keep one company seem like a pretty reasonable retirement plan.
Only one kind of seafood can give you any kind of duel before you eat it: the swordfish. Don't pick a weak-looking one, either. If you're going to be run through and killed by lunch, at least die with honor. They do that at restaurants, right? Have a big tank of swordfish you pick from and then strap on a scuba suit and pick out a rapier...you know, I'm starting to think this may have been a dream. In any case, burgers tend to be way easier.
If you like this story, consider signing up for our email newsletters.
SHOW ME HOW
Finally, we've got a guide to getting the best bang for your buck during the increasingly inaccurately named Houston Restaurant Week, which now stretches for most of the month. Don't forget to tip your servers extra-generously this week, which we don't have to tell you to do BECAUSE YOU AREN'T A TOTAL DOUCHESPIGOT, RIGHT? Right.
Oy, this week, I tell you. Enjoy your weekend, folks.