This Week in Deliciousness: Waiter, Another Bundle of Newspapers for the Trash Can Fire, Please

Welcome back to the weekly roundup here at Eating...Our Words, where it looks like we'll be missing yet another Halloween without getting our razor blade-shaped hard candy patented. Everybody's just too damn sensitive these days, that's the problem. Although the Jolly Razors actually did turn out quite sharp.

We started the week off right with a look at some discount goods for your home and kitchen, because if you haven't already run out of space to store things you never use in your kitchen, you're just not trying.

In a fit of randomness, we had a look at some haggis potato chips and found out they were actually quite good. It's not much stranger than barbecue-flavored potato chips, if you think about it. Never mind, stop thinking about it.

We looked at how to graciously send back a bottle of unfit wine, and how to do the same with a wine you just plain don't like. Personally, my wine palate is nearly nonexistent, so if it's bad enough that I can taste it, then I probably should have noticed all the dead mice floating in it long before the glass reached my lips. In any case, I find that dropping the bottle into a brown paper sack and taking long hobo-like pulls from it throughout the meal helps convey the message "I find this wine to be substandard" pretty clearly.

Speaking of the besotted, the TABC had some enlightening comments on last week's item about overserving. Interesting fact: Bachelorette parties are legally required to be overserved and may not be released until they've ruined the performances of no fewer than three stand-up comedians. Look it up.

We came up with five more uses for English muffins (six, if you count shit on a shingle) and then had a look at some of the fast and easy fixin's to be had at the new Trader Joe's. Not to be confused with the discount bulk government secrets outlet, Traitor Joe's. Yeah, zing or whatever.

We had a look at a renovated Morton's The Steakhouse, and enjoyed some of their The Cheesecake. We also had a look at a really cool program that lets Congolese refugees run a self-sustaining farm. And at the farmers' markets, we reap the tasty benefits.

Finally, we had a look at the ten best sandwiches in Houston, and the ten best restaurants in Rice Village. Assuming there's no overlap, that's your next 20 meals, right there. You're quite welcome!

Follow Eating Our Words on Facebook and on Twitter @EatingOurWords

KEEP THE HOUSTON PRESS FREE... Since we started the Houston Press, it has been defined as the free, independent voice of Houston, and we'd like to keep it that way. With local media under siege, it's more important than ever for us to rally support behind funding our local journalism. You can help by participating in our "I Support" program, allowing us to keep offering readers access to our incisive coverage of local news, food and culture with no paywalls.
John Seaborn Gray