TILA'S

I’m not a fan of complimentary valet, so I park on the street between Tila’s (1111 S. Shepherd, 713-522-7654) and a neighborhood “no pooping” sign. It’s here that we see a terrier smaller than his owner’s engagement ring fertilizing the sidewalk. Apparently she confuses my sarcastic query (“You need a bag?”) with genuine concern for her manicure; either way, she avoids both my question and her civic responsibility with a thoughtful “No, I think he’s done.” Thankfully for me and my friends, Tila’s is a turd-free zone with a killer bay window, swank bar and happy hour from 4 p.m. to 7 p.m. The complimentary homemade chips and crisp plantains are a delicious match with my Michelada a spicy beer mixture whipped up by Tila herself. While we’re waiting for our check, the personable owner entertains us with stories about ZZ Top praising her salsa in Texas Monthly, legal battles with rival Teala’s on W. Dallas and Tila’s “Jesus Eats Here” shirts. But though we wait long enough to witness a second coming, there’s no sign of J-dizzle or our tab. After an hour of smooth jazz that’d send even the most hard-core Bolton fan screaming from his Geo, we finally leave the same way we arrived on guard for tiny “mud puddles.”

1 Pacifico beer

1 ounce fresh lime juice

1 ounce Tila’s homemade Bloody Mary mix

4 dashes Maggi seasoning

24 dashes Tabasco

Salt the rim of a chilled mug, fill with ice, add ingredients and pour your beer of choice (Tila recommends Pacifico).