I might not have agreed to visit Tony's Corner Pocket (817 West Dallas, 713-571-7870) if I'd known I would end up with my head tilted back dentist-chair style and my appearance examined with a gay-tooth comb. You could say that Sean, the bar's resident Frank Billings­ley look-alike, did not mince words, unless you're a sociopath who considers "Your moustache looks like a koala bear's asshole" minced. Mr. Cruel-to-Be-Kind made some valid points, though, in addition to saying positive things about my teeth, which is always nice. Meanwhile, Cate and David, the other two-thirds of the night's straight invasion force, were at the bar discussing life at the sweet end of the looks spectrum. Cate said things come too easy for David because of his uncanny physical attractiveness. After Sean finished up his inspection, I returned to an upright position and asked David what that's like. "I know I can screw any guy or girl in this place," he said. "I can get any flavor of vodka I want. I'm like King Tutankhamen." In his defense, that bizarre declaration came after several drinks, one of which was bartender Josh's Banana Split. Not sure if the special shot pushed John beyond the pale, but at one point he asked, "Wait, are we at a gay bar?" so clearly something was doing its job.

3/4 ounce Stoli vanilla vodka

1/2 ounce crème de banana

1/2 ounce crème de cocoa

1/2 ounce Frangelico

Splash of Michael's Irish Cream

Shake over ice and strain into a shot glass.

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Glenn Livet