4

Top 5 Creepiest Baby Foods

^
Keep Houston Press Free
I Support
  • Local
  • Community
  • Journalism
  • logo

Support the independent voice of Houston and help keep the future of Houston Press free.

The New York Times recently reported that baby food manufacturers have been forced to revamp their products to combat the increasing numbers of parents who are making their own infant grub. Hardly surprising. Have you seen some of the weird sh*t on the shelves that we're supposed to want to feed babies (we're talking developing humans whose age is still measured in months!). Here are five of the creepiest:

5. Apples & Chicken. Apples and chicken are relatively healthful forms of fruit and protein, respectively, though I wouldn't think to put them in combination. And even weirder is that these two items aren't merely "paired" with each other: They're fully blended into one amalgamate puree. What's for dinner, very young Padawan? Chapples!

4. Baby Mum-Mum Cookies. When I first privately ranted about these cookies to some of my cousins (all of whom had children), they rightfully retorted that babies really actually did like these snacks, which are preservative-free and made from all-natural ingredients. What still creeps me out about these cookies is their banana shape (why not have the fruit itself?), and more so, the fact that the manufacturer mascot is "Hot Kid." According to a friend more than learned than me in Asian studies, Mum-Mum cookies are actually Taiwanese in origin and made by a company called "Shen-Wang."

This story continues on the next page.

3. Unflavored Pedialyte. When I worked as a nanny, I had the terrifying experience of caring for a baby with a stomach virus who was in danger of becoming severely dehydrated. Hence, I appreciate the use-value of Pedialyte, which can save you a trip to the emergency room for IV fluids...but only if your child actually drinks it. So why serve a version evacuated of flavor at the time you most need a baby to chug?

2. Lil' Crunchies. Babies have the rest of their lives to eat crap -- why enable their addiction to junk food? There are definitely better snack options for the under-one set. Also, shame on you, Gerber, for even trying to pass off these Cheetos as something nutritious.

1. Lil' Turkey Sticks. Dr. Spock always said that cocktail wieners are the cornerstone of a healthful baby diet. No, no, he didn't, and for good reason. There's about a thousand better sources of protein for growing children than processed meat products. If you're feeding your baby this crap, you're lazy and depraved.

Keep the Houston Press Free... Since we started the Houston Press, it has been defined as the free, independent voice of Houston, and we would like to keep it that way. Offering our readers free access to incisive coverage of local news, food and culture. Producing stories on everything from political scandals to the hottest new bands, with gutsy reporting, stylish writing, and staffers who've won everything from the Society of Professional Journalists' Sigma Delta Chi feature-writing award to the Casey Medal for Meritorious Journalism. But with local journalism's existence under siege and advertising revenue setbacks having a larger impact, it is important now more than ever for us to rally support behind funding our local journalism. You can help by participating in our "I Support" membership program, allowing us to keep covering Houston with no paywalls.

We use cookies to collect and analyze information on site performance and usage, and to enhance and customize content and advertisements. By clicking 'X' or continuing to use the site, you agree to allow cookies to be placed. To find out more, visit our cookies policy and our privacy policy.

 

Join the Press community and help support independent local journalism in Houston.

 

Join the Press community and help support independent local journalism in Houston.