It's your first date, and you've probably planned on having a meal. Your objectives are to avoid humiliation and be as impressive as possible, and you're halfway there thanks to the invention of spearmint gum. But that can't always save you, so take heed of this list. The right dining experience has your date kissing the latte foam off your upper lip, not pointing out the parsley in your teeth.
5. Spaghetti. Italian food is nice because the restaurants are often romantic. Some candlelight and red wine, and you have yourself a soul mate. But remember how difficult it is to twirl the right amount of spaghetti onto your fork without it slipping onto your lap on its way to your face, and the extreme likelihood of splashing your shirt with red sauce.
4. Salad. These days, girls willing to "get their hands dirty" are en vogue over girls who eat "bird food." And as food lovers, we can get behind a policy that allows us to sample our date's dish. But that's not the only reason to avoid salad. Lettuce leaves are sometimes too big to fit into your mouth in one go, so you're left with vegetation sticking out at an odd angle and dressing on your chin.
3. Ribs. Sticky hands, I know you're the one. No, that's not right. The only way to get rib sauce off your hands is with furious scrubbing, and by then it might be too late. Not only are ribs sticky, they're slippery, and while whacking a nearby diner with a food item is humorous in the movies, it's not so much in real life.
2. Beans. "The Musical Fruit" is not a myth. You do not want to be stinky or experiencing any personal discomfort in your path toward seduction. Chili in particular could be disastrous, but why are you at a restaurant serving chili to begin with?
Other belly bombs to look out for: extra-spicy Indian or Thai food.
1. Cheese Fondue. Fondue gets bonus points for being interactive, but too much dairy makes the tank a bit slow-moving later in the evening, when agility really matters. For this reason, it's also a good idea to avoid all-you-can-eat buffets. And speaking of cheese, it's not a good meal if there is an accompanying magic show.