We've already professed our love for Easter candy. Now we're willing to admit where it falls short. After all, no holiday is complete without its nasty options to complement the greatness. Without further complaint, here are our five all-time most hated Easter candies.
In our sometimes-humble opinion, Easter Pez (in addition to all of its holiday cousins) belongs on every worst candy list. No one can honestly say these pocket-size pills are tasty. Their place, it seems, is in the wide world of eBay -- not in our tummies.
4. Marshmallow Carrots
Oh, come on. Mock carrot candy even makes vegetarians want to barf. Who was the brains behind this idea? Perhaps it was an entrepreneurial parent's way to bait-and-switch a finicky child into eating more veggies. Too bad they suck, and now the kid hates candy, carrots and Easter. What's next -- Broccoli fluff? Good grief.
3. Fluffy Stuff Cotton Tails
These things are basically the candy form of Jolt Cola: monstrously disgusting sugar bombs. An entire bag of cotton candy boiled down into bite-sized nuggets for you and yours. Avoid them as if your life depended on it.
2. Cadbury Crème Eggs
Remember the commercials in which the Easter Bunny gives birth to the Cadbury Crème Eggs? And then they open them up to reveal sugary, yolk-colored innards? Yeah. We still have nightmares, too. How these things have stayed on the market for so long is one of life's greatest mysteries.
We'll be honest. These things? Terrify us. Spun sugar masquerading as multi-neon-colored marshmallow doesn't come close to existing in nature. Therefore, it shall not exist in us. We shall henceforth refer to them as Creeps. Oddly enough, though, we actually enjoy the newer chocolate-covered Peeps.
Keep the Houston Press Free... Since we started the Houston Press, it has been defined as the free, independent voice of Houston, and we would like to keep it that way. Offering our readers free access to incisive coverage of local news, food and culture. Producing stories on everything from political scandals to the hottest new bands, with gutsy reporting, stylish writing, and staffers who've won everything from the Society of Professional Journalists' Sigma Delta Chi feature-writing award to the Casey Medal for Meritorious Journalism. But with local journalism's existence under siege and advertising revenue setbacks having a larger impact, it is important now more than ever for us to rally support behind funding our local journalism. You can help by participating in our "I Support" membership program, allowing us to keep covering Houston with no paywalls.