Top Five Giggle-Worthy Cocktail Names

I can definitely order a Cosmopolitan or a Sazerac with a straight face (unless I happen to be on my third one). But a "Boob Grabber"? Here are my Five Favorite Giggle-Worthy Cocktail Names.

5. Monkey Piss (amaretto, banana liqueur, pineapple juice). If I ever ordered this drink, my grammarian tendencies would probably compel me to say not "I'd like a Monkey Piss," but rather "I'd like some Monkey Piss." Which is both confusing and amusing.

4. Jesus Juice (whisky, vodka, lager, hard cider, blackcurrant squash). Given the amount of alcohol in this drink, I'm guessing its name has something to do with the fact that you feel rather divine after a whole glass.

3. Purple Nurple (coconut rum, triple sec, blue curacao liquor, cranberry juice). "Purple Nurple" makes me think of Sesame Street, which then makes me think of drunk Muppets, which then makes me laugh. I wonder if Grover likes his straight up or on the rocks.

2. Barbie's Bathwater (raspberry vodka, strawberry syrup, sprite). The idea of drinking bathwater should be disgusting, but somehow the idea of imbibing the pink dregs of Barbie's tub never ceases to entertain me. Here's hoping, however, this drink is never served warm.

1. Duck Fart #2 (coffee liqueur, Bailey's, whiskey). It's "#2" that really gets me. I love the idea of the lingering aroma (taste?) of Duck Fart #1 prompting one to order a second round. Also, technically, isn't this a shart? I thought so.

Follow Eating Our Words on Facebook and on Twitter @EatingOurWords

KEEP THE HOUSTON PRESS FREE... Since we started the Houston Press, it has been defined as the free, independent voice of Houston, and we'd like to keep it that way. With local media under siege, it's more important than ever for us to rally support behind funding our local journalism. You can help by participating in our "I Support" program, allowing us to keep offering readers access to our incisive coverage of local news, food and culture with no paywalls.
Joanna O'Leary