Last week I wrote about what I consider to be the most annoying types of waiters. It's only fair that we also mention the most annoying types of customers out there - we know it can't be easy dealing with these people. This list doesn't include what I think is obviously the most annoying type of customer -- The Bad Tipper. We all know the rule of thumb when dining out -- if you can't afford to tip, eat in. You know who you are.
5. The Jokester - This is the funny guy at the table who has a joke or a witty comment about everything. "How was everything?" may be the most annoying thing a waiter can ask you, but responding with a sarcastic "It was terrible," as everyone notices your plate is spotless, gets pretty old -- and I really doubt they have the time for your cheesy jokes.
4. Ms. Flash - Don't you know who she is? She's the most important person in the restaurant and she demands your attention. She expects service with the snap of her finger and she has very important calls to make so don't expect her to get off the phone even to give you her order.
3. Mr. Know-It-All- He knows all there is to know about food, and when he's asking the server about the menu, it's really just a test to see if he knows whether the beef is grass-fed, which farm the beets are from and which wine pairing would go best with it. If your answers aren't up to his standards, he'll tell you why. He also never thinks the food is good enough -- he's had better elsewhere and will make sure you know it. Everyone's a critic.
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2. Mrs. Picky - She never wants to order anything directly off the menu. She customizes the dish until it's not even close to what it was before -- instead of pan-fried, can the fish be baked? -- please substitute the potatoes for the mushrooms, the salad for the soup and put the sauce on the side.
1. The Lingerer - This is the person who takes her time to do just about everything. She lingers over the menu, and even when she's called you over to place her order, she's still not quite sure what she wants, asking, "What's good here?" Once she's had dessert and coffee, she still just likes hanging around -- in the middle of the dinner rush, while there is a wait.