Bob Mould

Didn't Hüsker Dü rock real fucking hard? And pardon me if I'm mistaken, but wasn't Bob Mould part of that seminal Midwestern outfit? Yes? That's what I thought.

See, here's my dilemma: I loved Hüsker Dü, but I just heard the new CD from Bob Mould, and it's terrible -- as bad as Hüsker Dü was good. Imagine limpid indie rock for middle-aged go-go dancers coupled with lyrics that seem to have been written by a fourth-grader, and you start to get the picture.

Mould deserves all the respect he gets for Hüsker Dü. But after their demise, he went on to form Sugar, a band I never cared for and, strangely enough, one my wife still likes. After that came a number of solo efforts that also brought great joy to my wife and bored me to tears. But all that stuff was merely annoying, while this new album is unlistenable.

A career arc that goes from brilliant to so-so to god-awful is probably not that unusual. But this is well beyond the scope of diminishing significance. This is absolutely atrocious. I've played it for a few folks, and their reactions mirrored mine. They all hated it. In interviews, Mould comes across as an uncompromising guy who doesn't care about the music industry. Nothing could be more respectable. Yet here we are at this juncture. Bob, what have you done? You have a crapload of talent. You have a great attitude. No one fucks with you. And then you go out and make a disco alt-rock Cher record? Dude. Genius is clearly above my comprehension, I guess.

Bob, do yourself a favor and drop the cheesy disco effects inexplicably layered over your vocals, and "dum-ch, dum-ch" dance club beats. That's just not helping anyone. You may also want to think about firing Po and Laa-Laa and the rest of the Teletubbies as your lyricists, because those little dudes are really cramping your style. Sample lyric: "It doesn't matter, when hearts goes pitter-patter." No, I'm fucking not kidding. And it goes on like this for an entire album, every track another horror. Go get Zen Arcadefrom Hüsker Dü instead and thank me later.