By Chris Lane
By Jeff Balke
By Aaron Reiss
By Angelica Leicht
By Dianna Wray
By Aaron Reiss
By Camilo Smith
By Craig Malisow
North Houston Battle Royale
Machetes, grenades...and a wedding
By John Nova Lomax
Okay, this is a weird one. A really weird one, involving accusations of parents smoking weed with children, divorce and remarriage, divided families, indestructible young women, hand grenades, garden hoes, machetes, other assorted weaponry, a Pakistani immigrant and vengeance. Got all that? No? Read on and we will attempt to explain.
According to a report filed by the Harris County Sheriff's Office, on August 21, Deborah Minton and Diane Rocha were sitting on the front porch of their home on Aldine Mail Route when a white Ford F-150 drove up and disgorged two enraged women: Deborah Minton's daughter Robin Minton and Consuelo "Connie" Shaukat, Deborah Minton's son's girlfriend. The two women had come for Rocha — they claimed that she had reported them to CPS for allowing their teenaged children to get stoned with them, and they were allegedly threatening to harm her for same.
According to the report, mama Minton told Rocha to go inside. She said she would handle her daughter and Shaukat. She reportedly told the two women to leave, but they shoved her aside and barged into her house. The elder Minton followed behind, but her daughter shoved her up against a wall and held her there while Shaukat pursued Rocha.
Rocha fled into a bedroom, but could still hear the ruckus coming from the hallway. When she cracked the door, she says she saw the younger Minton restraining her own mother while Shaukat yelled threats at her about reporting her to CPS. Shaukat allegedly tried to kick the door down, but left, saying that she would track her down soon enough and then vengeance would be hers. At that point, Shaukat and the younger Minton took off.
Fast-forward to Saturday, September 3. Robin Minton and Connie Shaukat were allegedly at it again. This time, the two women brought three men with them: Connie's ex-husband, Pakistani immigrant Adnan Shaukat, and two as-yet-unidentified accomplices. And this is where it starts to get weird.
According to married couple Paul and Kimberly Ryals, they had just finished swimming in their pool at their north Houston home when they heard dogs barking. Kimberly Ryals says she looked out the window and saw Connie (a friend of a former employee of hers) and Robin (the sister of a former employee of hers) scaling her chain-link fence.
Ryals knew that these women believed that she too had been involved in reporting them to CPS, so she says she went to her bedroom to fetch a .22 caliber pistol. Then, along with her husband, she made a break for the back door. When she turned around, she and her husband saw that Connie Shaukat was already in the house clutching a wooden baseball bat. At that point, Paul Ryals went on the attack, grabbing Connie by the neck with his left hand and the bat with his right. Kimberly Ryals says her husband and Connie both fell to the floor during this struggle, so she walked up to Connie and shot her twice with the pistol. According to the report, both slugs found their mark, but despite being shot in both the back and the back of the neck, "Shaukat continued to fight and did not appear to be hindered."
Meanwhile, by this time Robin Minton had come around to the back door. Kimberly Ryals popped off a round at her but missed. Connie Shaukat and Minton then both fled out the rear door, whereupon Kimberly Ryals called police.
And then they saw Adnan Shaukat and his buds coming after them.
Adnan Shaukat allegedly had a pair of bolt-cutters in one hand. By this time, Paul Ryals had tooled up with Connie's bat, so he was ready. Paul says Adnan charged him and swung the bolt-cutters at him and missed. Paul says he then conked Adnan on the head with the bat, and then turned to glean the whereabouts of the other two men. He says that one of them had a fucking hand grenade in his hand.
Just then Adnan charged again with the bolt-cutters. Apparently they were now outside, because Paul Ryals says he staved off this counterattack by availing himself of the machete he keeps in his work truck.
And so they dueled, bolt-cutters versus machete...and then grenade guy ran up and dropped the bomb next to him. (It later transpired that the grenade was a harmless replica.) Grenade dude then grabbed the machete, and then Paul Ryals was tussling with him instead of Adnan.
By then a third man had picked up the bolt-cutters and started whaling on Paul Ryals. Paul says he fell to the ground and cried out to his wife for help, all while all three of the men were kicking him. Kimberly Ryals says she picked up a glass ashtray and beat Adnan Shaukat about the head with it vigorously.
But Kimberly Ryals evidently forgot about Minton and Connie Shaukat, because while she was brandishing the ashtray, those two women sneaked up behind her.
According to the report, Connie Shaukat started laying into her with a garden hoe, causing her to fall to the ground and go into the fetal position, whereupon Connie and Robin kicked her repeatedly. She says she looked up and saw an unidentified man looming over her with a metal tool. She told him police were on their way. Both Ryalses say that sirens were heard just then, and all the suspects fled. Kimberly Ryals says her lacerated head required nine staples to mend, and both she and her husband say they had multiple bruises and contusions.
Excellent tongue in cheek write up; I laughed my ass off several times (how could one not?). Fucking funny ... especially the "indestructible women" part .. .LOL!!
Yeah, I live off of Tidwell and 59. That's only one other story that I didn't know about, who knows what happens in the ones where i'm close enough to hear the gunshots...