There are no scientific metrics to tell you why Chris Brown’s “Wrist” is terrible. You cannot put “Wrist” on a scale of 1 to 10 and expect it to succeed. You cannot try to make a chart of good Chris Brown songs and bad Chris Brown songs and expect “Wrist” to land on the good side of said chart. You can only hear “Wrist," immediately scrunch your face and try to move on to something more decent with your day.
History: “Wrist” is the third song on Chris Brown’s Royalty album. The knock about Royalty is that it's yet another Chris Brown album where he doesn’t know if he wants to navigate around doing EDM-pop records or sleazy R&B-rap records on which he professes being cooler than you. “Wrist,” from top to bottom, apes Houston culture to the point where you start mad-libbing Sauce Twinz lyrics with trademark "Ooohwees" to go with. The video has been viewed more than four million times since its debut on YouTube three weeks ago.
It's one thing to come down on Brown for what he ropes himself into publicly; that’s far too damn easy. Low-hanging fruit. “Wrist” may be the lowest of the hanging fruit on Royalty, beyond its “borrowed” Houston aesthetics. If it's not Breezy openly stating insipid lyrics like “You gotta come to my city, you gotta see how we live (Pull up with the drug dealers)/ You should just come on the bed, I should just fuck you right now,” it's the whole feel of the track — a circular mess that could have been done better by so many other people.
Most Unforgivable Lyric: “I'm a champagne pourin' n*gga, I love big asses and tits (Show me them kitties)” — Chris Brown
“Wrist" doesn’t amount to much in the lyric department, especially when it comes to Brown getting so lazy with it that he turns into a 2000 Dave Chappelle stand-up. Solo Lucci’s entire two verses revolve around his watch being filled with diamonds, his shoe game (ironically, every pimp wears Ferragamos) and how like Dice SoHo’s “Handcuffs” record, he’s got such jewelry on him that he’s basically locked up in it. See? Basic, basic, basic.
Even more so, we took time out to count literally every Houston reference on “Wrist." Trust, it's an insult that is pandering to the highest degree.
I would have expected "Wrist" to be mentioned as often as it was because it's the title of the goddamn song. In 2014-15 alone, better rappers made better songs about "Wrist," namely Father from Atlanta. Even though "44s" is mentioned NINE times, the most egregious of all is "Drip" getting dropped like "drippy" an amazing TWENTY-TWO times. When has Chris Brown dripped? After watching Sauce Walka in a Sauce video? I need answers. All of them. Lean is lean, it's universal now — so thank Houston for educating the masses once again.
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Is the Song Redeemable? The main fight for “Wrist” is exactly what makes it suck. No offense to Solo Lucci, who is carving out a decent buzz in his native Dallas and beyond with standard-fare trap cuts like “Whip It” and an identity somewhat based around the main villains in Meteor Man. No offense to the producers of the track, who literally made a B-side of DJ Khaled's “How Many Times,” and definitely no offense to the writers of the song, of whom there are eight (!), to remind us that Chris Brown likes to flick his wrist. Or ride on swangas. Or pretty much do everything he learned from bringing out the Sauce Twinz during his show last March at Toyota Center.
The only redeemable aspect of “Wrist” is Solo Lucci. Only because his profile increases skyward as the Dallas unknown with a feature on a Chris Brown album.
Are You Going to Get Tired of This Song? Definitely. Even if it does crack club rotation, “Wrist” will obviously get swallowed up by the stronger, less rap-heavy records from Royalty. If you need a trap record from Solo Lucci, “Whip It” is your best bet.
Chris Brown’s career, as up and down as it is, hasn’t been more up and down sonically than it is right now. He’s easily one of the Lost Boys at this point, still unsure if he’ll ever recapture that moment in time when he had a Doublemint commercial and was on the verge of being a superstar. He’s a legend, of the bad-boy variety. He’s also the creator of far too many songs that should never have left the studio, “Wrist” included.