Listen up, live music fans. It's time for an etiquette lesson. No, not a lesson on how to pour tea or eat crumbly shit without spilling down your blouse. This lesson is on concert etiquette.
Some of you may need it, some of you may not, but I'm sure you know a few people who could brush up on their concert-going skillz. In that case, you can pass this along to them now that you know it exists.
Now put your pinky fingers in the air and follow me. Let's do this. Here are some basic lessons in concert etiquette. We'll all be fancy by the end of this.
10. Don't go to concerts to make out. That makes everyone uncomfortable. EVERYONE. This isn't a prude thing, it's a PDA-aversion thing. I don't need you rubbing your dude's ass in the two square inches I'm allotted, because somehow you're accidentally(?) feeling me up too, and it's awkward.
Presumably, you are attending said concert in those expensive-ass seats to enjoy the music, not an air-shag, so listen to it and we're all good.
9. Playground rules are basically good anytime, anywhere. Don't cut. Don't jump seats and try to get closer. It's rude. If you want better seats, buy better tickets or get online when the tickets go on sale and don't wait until the day of, or you run the risk of not being able to see.
That's your own fault. But if you wait, it still doesn't give you the right to jump over other people's seats and launch yourself into open-seat freedom. In reality, those seats probably aren't really open, and you'll have to launch back to your seats when the rightful owners return from their bathroom escapade anyway. Save us all the hassle and the shoe imprints on our chairs.
8. Don't talk over acoustic sets. Seriously, for Christ's sake, stop talking over acoustic sets. Just don't. Not much more needs to be said. It's incredibly rude to the artist, and even more rude to your friendly seat-neighbors.
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