My roommate introduced me to the world's most revolting web phenomenon, something worse than the Virginia Tech shooter's manifesto, worse than cell phone footage of Saddam Hussein's hanging. That's right the sad Kermit video.
Available at sadkermit.com (if you must), the short is a parody of the last video Johnny Cash ever made, for chrissakes. Kermit the Frog sits before a black backdrop, guitar in hand and lit cigarette dangling from his lipless mouth. First he shoots heroin. Then he jerks off to a picture of Miss Piggy, before losing his amphibian erection while glancing at a picture of his deceased creator, Jim Henson. (I am not making this up.) Then he quivers, snorts blow, takes pills and appears to hang himself in the shower.
All that's followed by some projectile vomiting and a blow job involving Rowlf the Dog. (Where is PETA when you need them?)
Kermit the Frog
If you like this story, consider signing up for our email newsletters.
SHOW ME HOW
You have successfully signed up for your selected newsletter(s) - please keep an eye on your mailbox, we're movin' in!
But the worst thing is that it's disgustingly popular, with hundreds of thousands of YouTube views. What a sad commentary on our infantilized American culture, one that needs heaping platefuls of irony and nostalgia in the same serving.