The 12 Most Ironic Tweets From Aaron Hernandez's Twitter Account
Aaron Hernandez, the prison inmate formerly known as a professional football player.
"We lead the world in computerized data collection!" -- Artie Bucco, The Sopranos
Before social media, before the internet, hell, before computers, there was a time where the "fingerprint" we left behind was essentially hand written documents, stories from loved ones, and yes, our actual fingerprint.
These days, though, for better or worse, there are so many other forms of remnant we leave behind when we are no longer around. (To be clear, for our purposes in this post, "no longer around" can mean "dead" or "incarcerated.") Every step we take on a computer, in a search engine, on Twitter -- they're around forever!
So when Aaron Hernandez gets sent away to prison, and we miss hearing his voice or hearing his musings, his memory endures in other non-imprisoned places.
While the actual person Aaron Hernandez remains behind bars in Suffolk County awaiting trial on three murders (and counting, I guess?), the Twitter version of Aaron Hernandez (at least the one that existed up until June 18, 2013, goes by the name @AaronHernandez) remains on the interwebs for us to relive the magic, a delightful 282 tweet blend of poor spelling, rampant retweet binges, and inspirational quotes.
Anytime someone like Hernandez reveals himself to be the alleged monster it appears he is, it's normal to go back and look at some of his figurative fingerprint (like Twitter) and see if we could retroactively piece together clues that should have warned us that he is capable of killing multiple people and compartmentalizing an NFL season in between.
That takes a special level of sociopath!
And I'll admit it, Twitter Aaron Hernandez seems to be, by and large, a pretty likable (albeit only moderately literate) fella! He is interactive, he is affable. Hell, by the time we get to the weeks leading up to the Odin Lloyd murder, he's a commercial and promotional machine. Like Rocky Balboa in the opening credits of Rocky III.
(One side bar: He was off Twitter altogether for about 50 days, from June 24, 2012 through August 13, 2012. As we now know, there was probably a reason. Two, actually.)
Going back now and reading the tweets, here are a small handful of them that are dripping with irony, in chronological order:
@quotz4u ya it was a tough loss but what don't kill u only make u stronger— Aaron Hernandez (@AaronHernandez) December 23, 2011
Ah yes, but what do kill u, make u dead, Aaron.
Life isn't measured by the amount of breathes we take...it's the moments that take our breathe away!!— Aaron Hernandez (@AaronHernandez) December 23, 2011
Man, that tweet reminds me of a couple of my favorite songs. Remember the Police's hit single "Every Breathe You Take"? Or that song from Top Gun "Take My Breathe Away"? Good tunes, man. You're right, Aaron. It is about the breathe taking moments.
Let's keep going... I like to RT this one on occasion just to scare everybody on Twitter....
One more day before I'm released from my cage— Aaron Hernandez (@AaronHernandez) February 4, 2012
For a brief moment, you were terrified, right? It's ok, "YES!!!" is the correct answer.
Killer http://t.co/DK1U1gvW— Aaron Hernandez (@AaronHernandez) February 4, 2012
File that last one under the hashtag #IronicRetroactiveSelfGlossTweet
Now for some sage advice one the way to bed. Keep this one in mind as Aaron Hernandez tries to defend his plea of "not guilty" for these three murders....
Good nite...I am going to bed... All a man has is his word!!!!— Aaron Hernandez (@AaronHernandez) February 14, 2012
Uh huh.... Let's keep movin'....This next tweet came on Valentine's Day:
9 to 5 is how ya survive...I ain't tryin to survive..I'm tryin to live it to da limit an love it a lot!!! ( Jay z - D'evils )— Aaron Hernandez (@AaronHernandez) February 14, 2012
Clearly, his mood indicates Hernandez had just gotten some V-Day nookie.
My conclusion -- Hernandez was far more benign and far less scary when "shots" meant "drinks," not "bullets."
Live it up live it up live it up— Aaron Hernandez (@AaronHernandez) May 21, 2012
Hey, one "live it up" for each person Hernandez allegedly whacked!
These next two are intertwined, and probably enough reason for Rickie Fowler to seek government protection, considering how many people within arm's length of Hernandez wind up expiring early.....
Great start for my guy @RickieFowlerPGA! Keep killin it— Aaron Hernandez (@AaronHernandez) April 11, 2013
More quoting of people with 100 more IQ points than Aaron Hernandez....
"do not wait to strike till the iron is hot; but make it hot by striking." - william butler yeats— Aaron Hernandez (@AaronHernandez) April 26, 2013
Yeats, Hernandez. Hernandez, Yeats. Same guy, really.
good morning— Aaron Hernandez (@AaronHernandez) June 18, 2013
Yes, this final Twitter salvo was sent just a few hours after Hernandez allegedly shot Odin Lloyd and left his body to rot in an industrial park.
Live it up! Live it up! Live it up!
Get the Weekly Newsletter
Our weekly feature stories, movie reviews, calendar picks and more - minus the newsprint and sent directly to your inbox.