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From the swag department comes the modern era of energy drinks, if these promotional materials from Glacéau are to be believed.

First things first: The Modern Era actually spanned from the Industrial Revolution to the end of the Second World War, but nice try, guys.

And now it’s time for the hip-speak:

we packed this drink with key nutrients to give you that extra sumthin’ sumthin’. things like natural caffeine for immediate energy, c and b vitamins for metabolic energy and ribose for sustained energy. so while you other energy drinks are rolling in your pintos and grooving to your 8 track decks… we’ll just be over here with our ipod®, prius® and this cool new thing called “the future”

Not to mention the taste of stale urine. – Keith Plocek

The Houston Press is a nationally award-winning, 34-year-old publication ruled by endless curiosity, a certain amount of irreverence, the desire to get to the truth and to point out the absurd as well...