Road-trip season is around the bend. Unfortunately, to get to some good spots – New York, the Pacific Northwest, back home to Texas – you have to travel through complete crap.
10. ILLINOIS
Other than Chicago and Lakeshore Drive, Illinois is da pits. Joliet, Gurnee, Rockford, Bloomington-Normal, so much ugh.
9. KANSAS
Boring and more boring. Plus, there’s a pricey toll road from Kansas City to Wichita. They should be paying drivers to travel through Kansas, not the other way around.
8. NEW JERSEY
Does this even require an explanation? The dreadful, traffic-y New Jersey Turnpike. Traveling alongside New Jersey people. The absolute worst. At least they pump your gas for you (which is actually highly irritating).
7. DELAWARE
Finally out of Jersey! Yippee! Wait, now we’re in Delaware, which also slaps motorists with a toll to drive the five minutes it takes to get through this industrial wastepile.
6. MARYLAND
Yup. You guessed it. More tolls. And fat chance finding a gas station bathroom that’s open after midnight in freaking Maryland.
5. FLORIDA
Who’s going to be the first one to drive into a sinkhole that opens in the middle of a busy Florida interstate? Not it.
4. NORTH DAKOTA
Totally bleak and not in a cool, “ironic” way. Have a blast trying to pass and/or dodge all of the oil haulers.
3. OKLAHOMA
The only thing to do in Ughlahoma? Getting depressed and obsessing over the pointlessness of human creation because you’re in Oklahoma.
2. INDIANA
Other than the southern part of the state near Bloomington, an area that might as well be Kentucky, Indiana is home to gems such as Gary, otherwise known as the ass armpit of America.
1. NEVADA
It usually feels like it’s 250 degrees outside, even in November. It’s really easy to mix up highways 93 and 95 (because they’re basically the same number) when traveling north out of Las Vegas. And the threat of breaking down in the middle of nowhere and dying is actually very real.
This article appears in Mar 23-29, 2017.
