10 Best Celebrity Prayer Candles on Etsy

I grew up in East Houston surrounded by a type of Catholicism that was part Christianity and part pagan weirdness. Nothing has ever seemed to exemplify this to me more than the endless collection of prayer candles on sale for a dollar or less each at Fiesta that illustrate the lives of the saints you hoped would intercede on your behalf. Well, I don't much go in for religion these days, but Etsy has a selection of the next best thing, celebrities! Today we look at the 10 best pop culture prayer candles, complete with the appropriate causes and prayers to offer in their lighting.

Saints are great, but sometimes only old-school, Old Testament god-ing will suffice for your prayer needs. Why not invoke the wrath of the King of Monsters, provided in this tasteful candle by Mama Minutia? Granted, it's clearly from a more lighthearted later aspect of Godzilla rather than one of his more indiscriminately destructive phases, so be aware of exactly what kind of apocalypse is appropriate for your situation.

We all deal with the grief of a beloved celebrity in our own way. In the case of the folks at the Twin Flames Boutique, they coped with the passing of the King of Pop by immortalizing him as a saint, presumably in his younger form to answer the prayers of insane stage moms. Barack Obama is thrown in the mix for...some reason. Judging by the Affordable Care Act website scandal, I assume he finds employment for out-of-work IT people.

There is no shortage of prayer candles dedicated to Walter White of Breaking Bad fame, but only this one from The NM Sugar Shack is individually hand-painted by its creators. Better yet, each one comes with a bag of Blue Meth, Blue Sky Glass/Powder Candy (Cotton Candy Flavor). That's a sort of mixed message for the people of the world, I feel, but old Walter should certainly be lit in times of great chemical deprivation.

It's possible that you might not be intimately familiar with Nina Hagen, the Godmother of punk herself who has been an indefinable artist for more than 40 years. Here we see her immortalized in the artwork of Pierre et Gilles. Light her up and pray for sin.

A little outside the conventional prayer candle motif is this powerful piece by Mariah Fox. It's part of her 27 Club collection, each a candle dedicated to the passing of a young star who died at that age such as Jimi Hendrix and Jim Morrison. My personal favorite in the series is that of Texas's own Janis Joplin, who paid her way into the club on an overdose of heroin.

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Why is a Boondock Saints candle like this one from Jackie at FANatic Accessories necessary? Because it reminds us of the coolest prayer in the history of film.

"And Shepherds we shall be For thee, my Lord, for thee. Power hath descended forth from Thy hand Our feet may swiftly carry out Thy commands. So we shall flow a river forth to Thee And teeming with souls shall it ever be. In Nomine Patris et Filii et Spiritus Sancti."

As long as we're stopping by to pray to fictional characters, here's a wonderful candle dedicated to the Tenth Doctor and his Tardis, complete with an original prayer for all occasions printed on the back. Granted, by the time you need that prayer, he's either already there or you should be running too fast to be able to safely light a candle.

There are times in all our lives when we could also use the wit and wisdom of our favorite Golden Girl. Her prayer comes with a hope for the fortitude to take on taboo and bigotry with grace and poise, as she so often did. Barbie's Basement Jewelry specializes in these warm and irreverent takes on celebrity that encourage us to find strength in such icons... which is a really Catholic message when you think about it.

Natalia Gonzalez can offer you pretty much any celebrity prayer candle you could possibly want, so if this article is your bag (and by this point we must assume it is), make sure you visit Firme Arte. Of all her creations, though, it's this one immortalizing the one and only Weird Al that best mixes spirituality with whimsy. The perfect outlet for prayers involving fun, and an exciting if improbable career.

Our final entry is another gem from the folks at Ridiculous Fruit Salad and their prayer candle to a '70s gay porn star named Bruno. He was never as famous as Jack Wrangler or Casey Donovan, but he still managed to draw a big crowd by possibly being the most '70s-est looking porn star, gay or straight, man or woman, of all time. The actual candle comes uncensored. What do we pray to Bruno for? Well, I for one would pray to still be in the kind of shape he is these days. (Warning: That link isn't even sort of safe for work) Hell, I'd pray to be in that kind of shape now.

Jef has a new story, a tale of headless strippers and The Rolling Stones, available now in Broken Mirrors, Fractured Minds. You can also connect with him on Facebook.

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