We've been playing the Final Fantasy series from the day the first game hit the ground in America, and magic has always been a big staple of the series. Nothing sells a world of wonder like being able to hurl a lightning bolt, and yet, sometimes they simply go a bit overboard with it. Unfortunately, this has gotten more and more prevalent as graphic technology improves, leading to some truly ridiculous spells.
Yes, Chrono Trigger is a Final Fantasy game, and don't even try to tell us different. Why exactly you suddenly gain the ability to generate a giant magic frog to squash your enemies is never really explained, but that doesn't keep them from upping the ante by having you conjure a giant frog, then setting it on fire.
This is the ultimate summoning spell in Final Fantasy IX, and it makes absolutely no sense. Dagger calls Ark, a ship from the depths of space, who then proceeds to spend around a minute transforming into a giant robot. We could get behind this if the robot then proceeded to do something only a giant robot could do like stomp on the enemies, but Ark just launches missiles, something that regular ships we've already built can do now.
This one is not so much the nature of the spell, but the nature of the character's reaction to it. When you first use magic as Terra in front of the other characters, they proceed to absolutely lose it, even though the most likely spell you'll be using is the Fire spell, and frankly we've seen eight-year-olds with bottle rockets put on bigger spectaculars.
We understand that most people haven't seen magic at all in this world at this time, but come on, guys. You just fought soldiers in giant mechas that shoot lightning beams. Is Terra's little pyro burst really more impressive than that?
Final Fantasy VIII remains one of our least favorite games in the series, mostly because it seems to be the one that tries the hardest to be art instead of a game. Case in point, we have absolutely no idea what's going on in this summon spell, only that it has something to do with space. It's like someone at Square said, "We need a steampunk version of 2001: A Space Odyssey, but we need it to be less than two minutes long and to be performed by Cirque du Soleil," and then dry-humped the CGI computers until this happened.
Trust Sephiroth to take things way too far. When it comes to overkill, it's hard to beat exploding the freakin' sun and burning the entire solar system to cinders just to kill seven people. It's like your wife asking you for flowers, and you bringing home a bound and gagged Poison Ivy to use in horrible, plant-based sexual bondage games. It's like... no, no, we think we'll stop with that analogy. Wouldn't want to go over-the-top, after all.
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