Calendar Editor On the Rocks

I feel like I’m wearing diapers in this harness, and having a rock climbing instructor teach me the basics of rope safety isn’t making me feel any more mature. The most I’ve climbed before this is a flight of stairs, but John Sooy does a good job of soothing my nerves. “Climbing,” I say, signaling I’m ready. “Climb on,” Sooy responds.

The closest natural rock formation of any note is about three hours away, leaving indoor cliffs like those at the Texas Rock Gym the only Houston-area alternative for climbing enthusiasts (although it’s rumored that Rice and the University of Houston have some scalable statues and buildings for those willing to risk a citation). It’s also a good place for newbies to learn the ropes, so to speak, with qualified instructors and a whole lot of tire turf — a padding made from shredded radial tread — below to break a fall.

My first mistake is using my arms. I’m constantly trying to pull myself up, until Sooy tells me it’s all in the legs. Once I’ve gotten over that hang-up, it’s not so bad, though I’m cheating. More experienced climbers use only the hand- and footholds of a certain color, depending on the desired level of difficulty, but I’m grabbing anything within reach.

One of the knobs twists when I grab hold of it, which scares the shit out of me. “Did that move?” Sooy asks. Apparently that’s not supposed to happen. The ropes do their job, though, and I’m able to continue on to the roof. Two stories up, the adrenaline rush is fantastic. I want another go the instant I’m back on the ground.

Aficionados say once you start climbing, you see all tall structures differently. Drainpipes, stonework, bridges, everything begins to appear scalable. One climb, and I’m already eyeing the banister at the gym, wondering if I can make it up to the second-floor office without using the stairs.

Part of the 6,000 square feet of climbing space is a giant artificial rock for what they call bouldering, the closest thing to natural climbing you have any hope of finding in the city. As the name implies, you swing about the face of a large boulder instead of a cliff wall.

Is a place like this a good stand-in for the real thing? In some ways, experienced climbers say, rock gyms are more difficult than natural terrain because you’re forced to use someone else’s preconceived notions of where the handholds should be. But the gym is no substitute for the thrill of being out in the open air. Still, Sooy thinks that a lot of potential fans could be turned on to the sport by a place like this. “They’re just waiting to be born,” he says.

I might be one of them. I’ve already got my diapers.