That Snapchat remains one of the most downloaded apps around should really be no surprise. Most people love: taking photos, photos of themselves and silly photos. Snapchat allows them to take silly photos of themselves and easily share them with people who want to see silly photos of them. It’s about as can’t-miss as you can get in the world of technology.
Don’t feel bad if you don’t get it. While many people do, Snapchat is not for everyone. Not everyone has a burning desire to post a photo of him or herself vomiting rainbows or looking like an animal. That is fine; not everything has to be for everyone.
But there are markets out there that Snapchat is sleeping on by not making a bigger play for people who have yet to discover the true power of the selfie because there isn’t a filter that speaks to them. This list is for them.
5. “Well, Actually” Filter
For: People with itchy Twitter fingers.
There are a lot of people who are wrong on the Internet, and it’s up to you to set them straight. But alas, sometimes this happens when you’re not at home with your collection of fancy fedoras. Fear not, because the “Well, Actually” filter would analyze the size and shape of your face and magically add a fedora that actually fits with all of your images. Listen, you’re going to record that 45-minute rambling video anyway, even if it means recording it in a Taco Bell parking lot; you might as well do it looking your best (or, more accurately, what you think is your best).
4. “RQ+S” Filter
For: People who LOVE the ’80s
The smooth sounds of the ’80s have come back in a big way over the past few years, with artists like M83, The 1975 and Carly Rae Japsen writing songs featuring giant hooks, synths and saxophones. Beyond their sonic similarities are the fact that these artists also light their stage shows with heavy doses of blue and pink. Give your life that same retro-fab look with a bit of the old Pantone Rose Quartz and Serenity treatment, here dubbed “RQ+S” in case Pantone doesn’t want to play along. There colors won’t send you back in time, but if you turn up some Outrun, you’ll feel like you’re there soon enough.
3. “Cthulhu” Filter
For: Nerds around the world and under the water
In our cat- and dog-loving society, animal Snapchat filters are a no-brainer. Who doesn’t want to have cat ears from time to time, right? But you know – whether you want to admit it in polite company or not – that you’re curious about what you look like with tentacles on your face. It’s okay; you’re not alone. Cthulhu is bigger than ever, with everything from dolls to coloring books to election posters bearing his likeness. Everyone is going to be rocking Bernie and Trump hair as the year goes on; this filter would give you the chance to dress like a true greater evil.
2. “Inner You” Filter
For: Tool fans, art lovers and the people of Colorado
Is stoned Snapchatting a thing? You’re damn right stoned Snapchatting is a thing. The silly filters are fun enough when you’re sober, so you can imagine how much fun you can have after indulging in whatever it is you choose to indulge in. But what if you could use Snapchat in your search for inner peace as well? Squeegee open your third eye and call up a filter inspired by the artwork of Alex Grey. It’s about time that Snapchat met the world of Google DeepDream. Alex Grey is going to make a mint with his Kickstarter, but a Snapchat team-up could lead to even bigger and more insane-looking things.
1. “Sober” Filter
For: People who don’t want to let their mother down
We’re not here to judge your life. If you want to go out, get hammered and take a ton of photos with your bros or squad or whatever people are calling their group of friends these days, do you. But what happens the next morning when your mom sends you a text to see how you’re doing? With the “Sober” filter, she won’t have a clue about your self-destructive lifestyle. The “Sober” filter would give your skin a healthy glow, smooth out those bags under your eyes, make you look less puffy and generally just make you look like you’ve got it all together, even if you were strangely absent from church in the morning. Remember: What your mother doesn’t know won’t break her heart.
This article appears in May 19-25, 2016.
