Comedian Mike Robles and friends will undoubtedly offer plenty of other relationship advice during the Houston stop of the Loco Comedy Jam. Robles, who isn’t afraid to be crude, rude or obnoxious in pursuit of a punch line, has some pointed advice for men who want to cheat: You will get caught, because women have supernatural abilities. ”They pick up vibes from the universe. They could be chopping tomatoes and then be like, ‘I know he’s doing it with somebody,”’ he offers onstage. ”Then they turn into satellite dishes and pick up the signals. ‘Dut-dut-dut. He’s at a club! Dut-dut-dut. His wedding ring’s in his pocket! Dut-dut-dut. He’s dancing with a skinny bitch with no titties!”’ Robles continues, ”I’m only dating white girls now. When you cheat on them, they write you a letter. When you cheat on a Latina, they go to their best friend’s house and start plotting shit. Next thing you know, it’s 3 a.m. and two ninja bitches are slashing your tires.”
Sat., Dec. 29, 10:30 p.m., 2012
This article appears in Jun 14-20, 2012.
