It’s Labor Day weekend. There’s a fridge full of Lone Star tall boys and hot dogs, but you’re buying tickets online to see Going the Distance because the girlfriend thinks it looks cute. Wait a minute … take the fingers off the mouse. Labor Day is about hard … laborers. Do the holiday justice and see Machete.
Robert Rodriguez’s new extra-pulpy action film first appeared in Rodriguez and Quentin Tarantino’s 2007 Grindhouse as a fake trailer. The fully-fledged film drops this Friday.
Danny Trejo plays a machete-toting badass who is set up by his employer (Jeff Fahey) to assassinate a corrupt senator (Robert DeNiro). He seeks revenge with his old partner-turned-priest (Cheech Marin) and a taco-truck woman (Michelle Rodriguez). Steven Seagal plays a drug-lord swordsman. Lindsay Lohan plays a nun-with-a-gun. So far, so good.
Danny Trejo slinging machetes and riding a motorcycle with a machine gun? Pretty cool. Watching Michelle Rodriguez do anything (let alone shoot firearms)? Always a pleasure. Cheech Marin, dressed as a priest, blowing heads off with a shotgun? Super cool. Sometimes we underestimate the value of depth-free gratuitous violence in our lives. “Honey, I’ve been thinking I need to get in touch with my inner swordsman.”
Of note: At some point in the film, Lindsay Lohan will be topless. So if you were a 16 year-old boy when Mean Girls came out, dreams come true, son.
Of political note: Rodriguez released a fake trailer on Cinco de Mayo, presenting Machete as a message to Arizona legislators. While principal filming took place long before the legislation was passed, the film’s content remains relevant to the issue. Fox News didn’t like it–surprise!
Check out the controversial trailer on the next page …
This article appears in Aug 26 – Sep 1, 2010.